Marina Yardaeva “If you haven’t given birth, let her serve in the army!” 09.10.2024, 08:20

It’s a strange thing, but calls to give birth are heard more often from the lips of those who have never given birth themselves. From men. No, at first glance everything is explained simply: grinding your tongue is not chopping wood, so why not engage in rhetoric, why not take your soul away? But the question still arises: Why are there so many people who want to scratch the demographic wound? A few more problems? Additionally, the passionate struggle for fertility with words alone seems not only safe, but can be done just as well. And there is more demand from the launcher. In this sense, it is really interesting that men talk loudly about reproduction.

First the facts. Take, for example, the infamous bill banning childfree ideology. Men support him more often than women. According to the SuperJob service, prohibitive initiative inspires 36% of the stronger sex and 32% of the weaker sex. The difference is small; only 4%. But it increases significantly if you ask the question in a different way: do not ask so much about the attitude towards abandoning children, but state the idea of ​​​​an ideal family. So, VTsIOM’s research shows that 55% of our valiant knights want at least three children to be raised in the new cells of society. But the number of women with similar views is already 12% fewer.

But these are numbers. It is much more interesting how men and women express their opinions. So, for example, when women scold those who have abstract child freedom, it often turns out that the problem is not really about them. It often turns out that Russian women are afraid not of an abstract, incomprehensibly imposed ideology of childlessness, but of ordinary everyday rudeness when someone casually insults mothers and children. Of course, there is substitution of concepts here. Rudeness does not promote anything. Like a bad October wind; there just is. It will fly downwards, ruffle your hair, spit rotten leaves in your face, and sweep you off your feet. What did he want to say with this impulse? Nothing. The mood is very bad. Of course it’s unpleasant.

The same goes for the attitude towards having many children.

If you dig a little deeper, it becomes clear: the problem is not that women do not want to give birth, it is not that they cannot afford it. And nowhere and nothing. I’m also afraid for my health, but I still need to calculate my strength twenty years in advance.

Men, on the other hand, explain their fantastic love for children and their refusal to have children mostly with political necessity. They are tacticians and strategists, they need new people to defeat one: Asians are advancing in droves over the country, while the West is hopelessly corrupting our society with some dangerous ideas. For fellow citizens in trousers, the possibility of parenthood is not at all a matter of self-actualization, but a call to war.

What does the average man talk about, what does he offer? “If a woman refuses to give birth, let her serve in the army,” these demographic warriors say. And the injured have no idea that no normal woman would want to give birth to someone like that. Not to mention the immeasurability of the expected contribution to society. To raise a person is at least twenty years of life, and a year of service is a year of service. I don’t even ask how it is recommended to deal with non-military men in this situation – and we have much more of them than childless women, about 70%. I don’t even want to fantasize about this topic.

No, this behavior is partially understandable. An ancient biological mechanism is at work here.

A man is driven by the desire to spread his genes as widely as possible, to increase their numbers and enable his own tribe to replenish the neighboring tribe.

Of course, there’s no need to shout like a loser that “women have become completely arrogant”, but if nothing else can be considered a battle cry, then fine. Yes, it is clear, we do not live in the Stone Age, we have culture here, we have etiquette, it seems that if you cannot keep your primitive impulses under control, then at least hopelessly you cannot exclude them. You can try to explain your complexes and fears in a somehow more difficult way.

However, you can also perhaps go overboard with the complexity. For example, Freud believed that women are jealous of men, or rather their male organs: they cannot sleep, eat or breathe properly – they want the same beautiful thing for themselves and constantly mentally castrate their claimants. However, the opposite may also turn out to be true. What if neo-Freudian Karen Horney was right? What if men have severe uterine envy? Not all, not even the majority, but here are some individual examples. How else can you explain the desire to appropriate someone else’s physiology in order to dispose of it at your discretion? How to explain the desire to suppress, humiliate, intimidate a woman in order to get what she wants from her? It is quite symptomatic that women who become pregnant as a result of rape also have to give birth.

These comrades, of course, are trying to rationalize everything, they say, they are thinking about the fate of their homeland. It’s about the common good. It is also about morality and economic feasibility. It’s about the fact that everyone benefits the country and does it beautifully. If he doesn’t want it, force him. Not like this, like this. If she didn’t give birth, let her serve. If you do not produce new taxpayers, your pension will be cut. But the key here is not good at all, the main motive here is “to force” and “to take away”. Because some people want to put themselves forward out of fear.

Of course, you can turn everything around again. And blame the already disgusting author, call me a feminist, childless, anti-patriot. But it won’t work. I’ll be the first to say that kids are great, family is great. I have three myself and I sincerely think they light up the world and are generally fun to be with. And I’m always happy for others who choose the joy of parenthood. But this choice of happiness cannot be voluntary, firstly, and secondly, everything has a price. If you’re not ready to pay, don’t get involved. If you want to ride on someone else’s hump, do not be surprised if others are not in a hurry to support you.

In general, I think this: Whoever advocates having many children at all costs should give birth to them himself and not ask others.

If it’s a male, let someone create the conditions for him to want to continue his genes. The aunts have all been materialistic without any excuse – they don’t want to multiply in a rented studio without making any savings. Earn and maintain your big family as much as you want. If anyone is worried about the childlessness tax, let them pay it themselves. Moreover, for example, 30% at a time – 10% for each unborn person. You have only given birth to two children and you continue to shout that the country is in danger, Asians are advancing and women are some kind of selfish – pay tithe of all your income because you cannot afford a third. And don’t worry: the cost of another child will still be higher. Demographics is where it is better to start with yourself.

The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the position of the editors.

What are you thinking?



Source: Gazeta

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