This week, My father would have turned 78. He died two and a half years ago, and during that time, I’ve been reflecting on aspects of his son-in-law. It’s not that I’m sitting in my corner thinking about it, I’m just more aware of it. It will be age, it will be anniversary, because now I am on the other side of the ring and I am a mother or what.
You never stop being a daughter. It is a condition that accompanies us throughout life. My grandmother named her mother every day, even though she forgot my name or did not remember the exact number of children, and she did so to the end. up to 94 years.
I think we always identify more with one parent than the other. This does not mean that we love or perhaps love one more than the other. We have a greater connection and affinity with either one. I haven’t cut my umbilical cord with my mother yet, but why should I? Maybe because I have 50 tacos, but we’ll leave the psychoanalysis to other forums.
Some fathers (and mothers) project their expectations onto their sons (and daughters). They want them to be on a certain path or to live a life according to their own criteria. Reflection can be so extreme that children spend hours in a therapist’s chair trying to manage their feelings of frustration. As a mother, I wish I could convey it unconditionally.
Children can also be tough on our parents, even bullies. We demand it, we just love them, and we fiercely judge them for a thousand things. Because of the way they run life as a couple, the way they dress, the way they meet our needs or give opinions about our friends. It’s hard to remember that they were only a few years older than us and did their best like the rest of the world. Consistency, perfection, calmness or composure are the hallmarks of superheroes, and although we believe they are, the reality is different.
I have my father’s things living inside of me. One morning I recognized him from the way I walked. Sometimes I discover it in the rictus of my mouth, the size of my nose, or in my dermatological hypersensitivity. It is curious to discern some of its genetics in my body. There are days when I forget that he is no longer there and I think for a second that he will call me to discuss something. This feeling also arises when I wake up one night for any reason and think about it. The death of a parent leaves a big, dark void where there was a stone that balances the board. I feel like I’ll never be able to delete his phone number from my cell phone those nights. And not because I couldn’t get over it or move on with my life, but because I didn’t want it to pass completely.
The best feeling as a girl was so simple it’s ridiculous. Feeling satisfied, proud, and that it makes him laugh. One day I said something and I saw him smiling at me from afar and raising his thumb. I still remember. Congratulations wherever you are.
Source: Informacion
Dolores Johnson is a voice of reason at “Social Bites”. As an opinion writer, she provides her readers with insightful commentary on the most pressing issues of the day. With her well-informed perspectives and clear writing style, Dolores helps readers navigate the complex world of news and politics, providing a balanced and thoughtful view on the most important topics of the moment.