Yuliya Melamed Devils can’t stand the national weirdness of her post-holiday syndrome 10/01/2023, 08:16

And Merinov, as always, has a funny picture. He usually knows how to drink.

Picture about New Year’s holiday. Demons can’t stand it either.

The door opens with a creak. From it, on a pile of empty bottles, an uncle leaves a cupboard. Green devils shout: “Every day, every day, come on!” – they flee the celebration in horror. The devil is already back.

You are very tired on New Year’s Eve. You get very tired during the New Year holidays, you become miserable. And after the holidays, getting into a routine is often the art of circus acrobatics. Why?

Intoxication Sleep disorder. Nutrition. Violation of the biological clock. And our biological clock really doesn’t like to be commanded. Alcohol. With alcohol, everything is clear. Fatty, smoked, salty – in large doses … And even proteins in large quantities alone cause nitrogen poisoning.

Now we have to adapt again – naturally this is stress, bad mood, low concentration. BLA bla.
Clean. Everything is boring. It doesn’t explain anything.

It’s not about being drunk. Maybe the other way around… well.
Like children, they waited and waited for this NG … And now …

And here it is, the first morning of the first day of the year, completely new, like an alien. I can barely move my tongue, the thought of wearing tights and tying my shoelaces now causes physical pain. You can say that I love hangovers in general: this is still a profession and it cannot be said to be meaningless, you are fighting with your body, with every cell. A person with a severe hangover, such as a genius or a pregnant woman, focuses on herself. He is reborn into this world, only the “newborn” is insecure and suspicious. Two angry birds take off at the same time – and I spend all my strength looking up at them, watching them move straight towards me and become my hand. Now I’m going to lie on my back like this for another five minutes, my hands on my face, and I’ll stare through my fingers at the bare light bulb in the ceiling – no, 15 minutes – and then I’ll just get up, get dressed, and go.

This is a special case that is existential for every cell. I suffer – it means that I exist … And how often does world-class Russian prose of the 20th and 21st centuries depict the hero in this beautiful state, and the numerous followers of Venichka … so … what are we talking about? ? .. yes … at such an important time your body will not be distracted by trifles, fuss, please someone, be envious, envious. And at such moments the thought of the futility of life is set aside. You seem to be at work. They will call you and say, “What are you doing?” They will ask. – “I am sick”. Or: “I’m recovering.” Or: “You see, yesterday I had a beer first, then eggnog, then beer again, then a glass of vodka to spend, and then champagne as it should be” – you will boldly, shamelessly say, knowing that at the other end the wires are smiling knowingly. If there was any meaning in my life, it was when I just had a hangover. Of course, a severe hangover dulls mental anguish. In other words, a hangover is normal, it will improve to some extent. Restart. So it’s not a question of “drinking too much”.

Fear not, brothers, this is not depression. It’s just a “post-holiday syndrome”, they called it the same.

We rock in our own body as if in a cradle. Always a swing. Throwing endorphins (from tasty food, gifts, holiday anticipation) – swung in the opposite direction – now the endorphin sources have dried up.

Before NG, tension builds (the body perceives even pleasant chores as stress, but takes action) – they swayed – and it relaxes, and now you feel tired. From a long empty life – also a feeling of guilt. Laziness is a psychotraumatic thing. Prolonged idleness is detrimental to the psyche, causing stress, psychological disorders, and physical ailments. The human body is designed to either be busy at work or sleep. Like cats. Cats sleep … Well, here …

A psychotherapist once said by accident that depression is a disruption in rhythm, a disruption in a healthy routine. Not in the sense that the failure of a healthy routine CAUSES or can cause depression, but that is depression. I remember this sentence. A healthy routine shapes us, structures us, keeps us suspended above emptiness, depression, hopelessness. He hung but did not fall.

Lack of a healthy routine is depression.

I took the test yesterday. It took me a long time to choose who my favorite literary hero was. There were people whose words I knew by heart since I was a child. But the hand still reached out to Oblomov.

But not everyone is as oblomov as I am. There are many active energetic people you would admire to look at. Yes, to watch their success on social networks – my eyes hurt from moving.

As a man who lies tirelessly day and night to face his destiny, I feel sad just seeing these active ones and go deeper into the blanket. Yes, I understand that this neurosis of activity has gripped the capital like a plague. I understand that “active”, “duers”, “successful” (wow, all words are disgusting for choice, so the Russian language indicates a bandit) in this way copes with anxiety. I understand it’s effective, it works. But still they have no contact with the internal problem. The work of the psyche through action is not particularly successful.

So this is the hardest part of post-holiday syndrome. The whole year went by in a rush. Then – bam – there is no familiar defense mechanism. Now they’re just as bad as our loafer brother.

And now everyone is frantically looking for the reason for the bad mood for the New Year, the absence of a festive mood.

January 10. It’s time to return to the everyday life of this strange, completely new, alien-like New Year. Freezing. Those who have already left rejoice that Moscow is freezing and Europe is hot. I don’t know, I’m cold too, but I like cool, cold winters. On the street, a hundred falls from the cold. And the windows in the house are wide open – they’re suffocating like hell. Actually, how else should it be? Everything is going according to plan. We’re going on a case with an unfamiliar woman that none of us need. The incident came up with our distant relative. We’re sure you had a bad idea. But let’s go. I go to her for five minutes and leave her without a phone. Ten minutes later, I have to go back for my phone halfway through. In order not to forget anything again, I pick up the phone and leave immediately. But I still manage to forget my gloves. We are no longer going back. Dangerous. An unfamiliar woman looks at me appraisingly and realizes that she has changed her mind about handing over her documents with me.

After the New Year’s holiday, the concentration of attention is zero. post-holiday syndrome We’re walking in the bitter cold. In the car I keep my heels on the weight – they freeze on the gas and brake pedals. But I love. Real winter. Now I look like a two-year-old in a black and white photograph. In the severe Soviet frosts, the children looked like balls of knitting yarn in a thread their mother had knitted in the cold. Such a ball of fur can no longer walk: they are so swaddled, only the cheeks and the little man, tucked between the nose and cheeks, come out. So, for a scarf, my parents took me for a walk around Koshtoyants Street (it turned out that this is an Armenian academic and his name is Khachatur, dad, you know that? I didn’t know when I was six years old) . “You’re just not dressed properly,” says a foreign woman with whom we went on someone else’s important business. I always dress incorrectly, all drivers always dress inappropriately for the weather, difficult to navigate, undeveloped skill. “Actually,” she continues, “you should wear uggs on your bare feet, learned people taught me—that’s how it works.”

I look at the clock: 13:03. The clock has been lying for six months. To find the time, you need to add three hours and subtract twenty-five minutes. It is not so easy for me to do this even when sober … I make the last effort for myself. It’s already 1:20 am, the goddamn numbers are flashing – I’m honestly waiting for up to twenty-five minutes to make it easier to count. And in this case, you also need to go the normal way of working.

I believe that our people should rest after a vacation. come on remember…

General meeting. The boss says: “So today is Friday and Friday is a small Saturday, we are not working today. Saturday, Sunday, of course we roll, Monday we do not hangover. We categorically do not drink on Tuesday, but after such a difficult weekend, of course, we do not work. We are working hard on Wednesday, it can be said that we are plowing. On Thursday we are already preparing for Friday, and Friday is a small Saturday, as you know, we do not work. Do you have the program of the week? Any question?”

A hand reaches out from the audience: “Tell me, when will all this garbage end with Wednesday?”

Here I am the same. Let’s get away from this environmental nonsense, let’s not think that any activity makes sense.

The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the editors’ position.