When a child earns a disappointing grade, parents should avoid scolding. Harsh reactions can trigger fear, deception, and mistrust toward parents rather than fostering learning. This view comes from a clinical psychologist at Fantasy Children’s Clinic, who spoke to socialbites.ca about how families handle school results.
From a psychological perspective, a child’s development matters greatly. Yet the modern school grading system, which often relies on a limited number of class levels, does not accurately reflect what a student knows or how they are progressing.
For instance, a student who makes twenty spelling mistakes in a dictation might receive a failing mark. After focused remediation and steady effort, the same student could reduce errors to ten, but the grade may not shift. Parents should recognize this dynamic and avoid pushing the child beyond what is reasonable, especially under time pressure or in the face of repeated setbacks.
Raised voices and harsh language over grades are counterproductive. They tend to leave a child anxious, more likely to hide scores, and more inclined to doubt the value of education altogether. When a parent scolds, the child may begin to fear parental reactions rather than the learning task itself.
The psychologist emphasizes a constructive approach: ask the child to explain what happened, identify the source of the difficulty, and explore how the score could improve. This helps the child see mistakes as opportunities to learn, builds self-regulation, and fosters a proactive mindset toward studying.
In many cases, a low grade reflects factors beyond knowledge alone, such as fatigue, distraction, or careless errors. A calm conversation with the child and the teacher can uncover these issues and pave a path to improvement. If the problem concerns behavior rather than content, the focus should be on supporting progress rather than tallying performance alone.
Another practical step is to ask whether the child needs help. This could involve arranging tutoring, seeking a different instructional approach, or working through a challenging topic together. The goal is to partner with the child to restore confidence and competence, not to penalize effort.
Counseling experts note that a supportive home environment is a key factor in long-term success. Parents who maintain open dialogue about schoolwork, celebrate small gains, and model steady persistence help children develop resilience that lasts beyond the classroom. Ultimately, the way results are discussed matters as much as the results themselves. [Citation: Fantasy Children’s Clinic, clinical psychology guidance]