Four years ago a neighbor of mine Palm 37-year-old young man noticed strange things in his life kids when they returned from visiting his estranged father. The little girl, who was only two years old, had a rash on her genitals and sexual behavior. The eldest, aged four, also made sexual gestures while in the bathroom with his sister. Upon her mother’s question, she said, “What did they do with it?” father”. The woman was shocked. She says that she was frequently subjected to psychological abuse, such as humiliation, during their time together, but there was nothing that made her suspect that the children might be subjected to sexual abuse from their father. On the same day, she filed a complaint with the prosecutor’s office. Police. However, since the technicians’ evaluations on this issue were not definitive, no restraining order was implemented.
The mother at least managed to ensure that the visits took place in the school building. Majorca Institute of Social Affairs (IMAS)but the little ones were sad every time they saw him. “It’s so hard to force them to see him when he’s rejecting them and crying. It’s like taking your children to the slaughterhouse.” After a “slow and painful” process lasting four years, the man will finally be tried in court. Massbut the mother is very critical: “Children unprotectedIf the perpetrator of the abuse is his own father, protection systems do not work.
gender violence
The woman met her ex-husband at work when she was 27 years old. They began a relationship and he moved into her house. She got pregnant and they got married in 2015. A few months later, their first child was born, and in 2018 they had a daughter.
He explains that it took him some time to realize that he was being psychologically abused. “It was very… subtle. He made derogatory comments towards me. “He treated me like a despicable person in every way and would get angry if I did anything without consulting him,” she recalls. “He managed to isolate me from my friends and didn’t want me to see my family so much that he told me I had to secretly take the child to my mother. I told him I would take him to the park and take him to his grandmother’s house. “My mom told me it wasn’t normal, but I accepted it.”
She went to a psychologist and it was he who showed her that she was experiencing gender-based violence. “But I said he never hit me. There are other forms of violence,” he replied. It opened my eyes.”
When she decided to leave, she suggested reaching an agreement regarding the care of the children, but the father refused to sign the agreement. “He had never taken any interest in the children, and after we left, when they left their father, I began to realize: strange behavior in them. The boy stopped talking, hit me and shouted. And then I discovered that the girl had returned with something in her hand. irritated vulva. He was very little, still in diapers, but I noticed something was up. I started watching him and saw this happen every time he came to see his father. “I took him to the emergency room and they told me he could have diaper rash, but that didn’t happen when he was with me,” she says.
Complaint
Suspicions were raised when the little boy began making overt sexual advances towards his sister while bathing her two children together. “I asked him what he was doing, he told me it was his she. whistle game and that his sister had to learn, and that was the game they played at his father’s house.” It was February 2020, when the boy was four and a half years old and his sister was two.
“I froze. I could only tell him not to play it.” However, these behaviors were repeated. The boy openly described sexual scenes, and the girl, who was barely speaking, made rude gestures. The mother complained to the police and the court and after a while managed to arrange to visit her parents at a meeting point in the city. IMASso that the children would not be alone with him.
“Every time we had to go to the meeting point it was a struggle. The guys didn’t want to go and blamed me but I thought I had to take them. One time I stood in front of my ex and said to the girl: ‘Don’t touch her. He answered me: Let me know, you are hurting me, although I have not touched her. I didn’t understand anything, but later I discovered that he had recorded me and reported me for abuse.”
Trial in Court
The psychologists’ assessment of the children was inconclusive, despite the fact that he was the oldest. abuse really. The man tried to archive the case, but the woman’s lawyer, Jaime Campaner, managed to get the court to conduct the hearing.
“Meanwhile, he has been fighting a war of attrition for all these years. He accuses me of not complying with communication, he does not allow me to change schools so that they can go to a school close to my job, he shows himself from time to time. I accompany them to school, because there is no restraining order. The children take me around to avoid getting close to where he lives, Because every time they see him, they get sad, they get very bad. They also left. They send dead cats to my door or taxis I didn’t order to my address. I can’t reportbut this one abuse constant,” Ana continues.
psychological help
“I am trying to handle the events in the best way possible. I received psychological help and I have reports confirming my victimization. gender violence. But four years later, still awaiting trial, with the feeling that the children were vulnerable. When is the person responsible abuse As for the father, the protection systems are not working.