If Marina Yardaeva leaves the family, then it is bad at 08:00

They started talking about divorce again. And they’re looking for guilty again. This time, the shock in the fire was thrown by the udmurt priest Vyacheslav Klyuyev. He accused women of destroying families, and for some reason, he threw all myths to the public, which was frankly reproduced to marginal communities. The priest explained: Ladies throw their husbands for the sake of property, alimony and benefits. The people were of course excited. Especially, women as usual. Protest: We are not guilty. However, nothing else is clear: If you just talk about the reasons, why do you talk about the error?

And there are many reasons for divorces. And many of them are more than good. It is clear that divorce is not what people dream. This is a difficult, traumatic experience and for all participants. Yes, it would be great for this experience to fall as much as possible for men and women. It would be great to overcome the unions created by people who overcome people’s family crises. Personally, if a marriage can be saved, at least you should try it. Included in the help of experts: psychologists, mediators and even lawyers. However, if a marriage cannot be saved, if a surgical operation is specified during the disease, then it is.

What is the meaning of looking for criminals? Responsibility (and not the same as guilt), both spouses are still carried, and of course both should get results from the event to avoid repeating mistakes. But making the accusations of someone else is only the position of the victim, the position of the victim, the position of a person who voluntarily abandoning the administration of his own life.

What often we have a female wine myth, even more surprising. In the comments in the articles on the articles about the family issues in the media that carry these infections in social networks, the heaps of “male” movements emerged: the families of women write that they destroyed families in 70% and then in 80%. Finally, we have already accepted it as 90%. And it is not important that there is no such statistics: neither in the registration offices nor in the world courts, nor among psychologists or family lawyers. It is not important that such statistics are often impossible: to apply for divorce, to desire this divorce, to see the benefits in it, to be guilty of divorce. All this doesn’t matter. Some decided that all miserable women were bad and carried this “truth” to the masses. And it is surprising that they are not ashamed.

After all, what is hidden behind the conviction of a man whose women do not value their families to a great extent and left their husbands easily? Anger, pain, fear, despair, weakness, helplessness, your own sense of importance. After all, if women are mass divorced for the sake of alimony and guidelines, as other unfortunate people believe in it, what is the value of a man? The average alimony in the country is 10 thousand rubles, an appropriation that can be obtained without considering the income of a child’s second spouse – a miserable life fee.

What – to notice that you can be changed for minimum livelihood? How can a normal woman understand that she doesn’t really accept to live with a man who can’t offer anything more? Today, both of the marriage lasts until they choose to live together, because if they are better for them, and if they are not better, if marriage becomes a yoke that needs to be dragged, then for Hell? It’s hard, of course. Crying, standing with handles and legs, screaming is much easier: they threw me, they did not understand me, they did not appreciate me, he left me bad, bad aunt, he did not want to deal with me, he changed me with the sugar he pulled there.

In women, by the way, this happens. After all, the victim’s position is very comfortable, very hot, swampy mud. Oh, he, such a and so on. He threw his family, went to someone else, twitched a little. Oh, he, a bastard, a bastard, cattle, difficult, gloomy, bad, explained that he cannot continue – he, male menopause, impotence, what is the mother’s brain drilling in a garage? It is easy to blame. And it is very exciting to revive your own pain.

But the truth is actually very simple. If another person left a person, the first was bad with it. He’s not a bad person, but at some point he has become difficult, hard, unbearable. Millions can cause. You can try to agree and work, try to correct something, but if it doesn’t work, it is better to leave the other with the world. The last thing is to hold the person who barely tolerate you, and the most meaningless activity is to bony it with the last words, to spend a mental resource in this regard. Yes, it hurts, yes, a shame. But by Golly, it is funny to demand guarantees that they cannot be loved.

It may be requested to be assumed by the law: alimony, participation in childbreaking, a fair part of the common property. Expectation of honesty, courtesy: I stopped loving me, don’t take it out, I was calling a new opening of freedom. But to wait from a person he will never change, he will not want any other happiness, he will not leave – pure, stupid, sorry, and at the same time paradoxical, the top of pride. There is no guarantee and cannot.

There is no guarantee, but that does not mean that it stays only to swing with everything. No one is safe from the fact that one day is only the fact that the operation can save life, but the prevention is still logical. Therefore, it is important to talk about the causes of divorce, not about someone’s abstract error. And people divorce different opinions about financial or frank, irresistible poverty. Because one of the spouses is drawn to unhealthy addictions and the other cannot do anything about it, he is not in his power. Because how the two will carry out life best, that they cannot agree to educate children. Initially, because they made a mistake in the election, they relied on chemistry, hormones, and Morok was extracted-it turned out to be stranger to each other. It is important to know this.

Information will greatly help someone to live your whole life in a single happy marriage, but perhaps an understanding of how everything works, at least will allow you to get rid of a difficult period. Without entering the accusations of all representatives of the opposite sex. Without stuck in depression due to learned helplessness. Uncomfortable with all the white light without turning into a miserable and bad dwarf.

The author expresses a personal view that may not coincide with the position of the editors.