New Year is not only a festive table with Olivier, but also a brutal meeting with your family for the whole long weekend. If you do not have time to take care of entertainment in advance, and you have a week with children or teenagers ahead of you, then it is worth taking not only sedatives, but also some measures in this regard.
As a mother of two teenagers, ages 19 and 16, I will say this: It doesn’t matter whether the kids are six or 16. Because during the holidays, they will sleep until noon, eat constantly, and lie on their phones and watch. movies. The only difference is that when they are six years old, you can give them a shovel and send them to play on the slide. And when you turn 16 they can send you to hell.
Moreover, teenagers love nothing more than playing “King of the Hill”, that is, proving to their parents that they are already adults and successful people. But this has no effect on them not doing the dishes as if they were still six years old. And of course, teenagers can come home drunk. This is prohibited by the Criminal Code and the parent committee, but let’s look at the situation without fear: New Year’s holidays, along with graduations, are the times when young people drink alcohol.
My friend, who is a good and caring classroom teacher, talks to parents every December about “how your children are growing up and they may try alcohol, be prepared.” And guess what? Two-thirds of parents are constantly so surprised by this fact that it is as if they did not expect that their children would grow up and want anything other than Agusha cheese. And it begins: This is not about our child; Mine won’t be like that; You are the one who slandered our little girl. And only a few say: “Thank you, we will talk at home.”
Why do parents so often deny this moment of growth, even though it is so clearly expressed and manifested in boys? But let’s not be sexist, girls are also keeping up with this lately.
So, if Nadya discovers a complete stranger in her apartment on December 31 – Zhenya Lukashin, then almost the same thing will happen to you, but a little later.
Around January 2-3, the parents realize that a person they do not know is living in their apartment. Before, he was a sweet and pleasant child who was capricious, did not eat porridge, and stuffed pieces of building materials into his ears. And now he is a conflicted, dissatisfied, disobedient and uncontrollable teenager.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade from them. If you’re spending a long weekend with your older kids, talk to them and build bridges. Find out what and how they live. Just asking is not enough to clarify the school literature program. It’s more about non-verbal things. Offer to buy pizza and watch a movie at home to feel like family again. Offer to put the phones away for three hours and play board games or Dota. The results can be simply surprising. Because not only do you want to know your child, he also wants to know you. This is the situation where he has a chance to break his belief that you are a boring and mossy log. There may not be such a second chance.
What else can you do besides play and talk? You can leave the teenager alone.
Tired of preparing for the holidays, sending out your annual report, searching for gifts and traffic jams? So young people are tired. He also has tests, the end of the session, tests – all this puts pressure no less than the atmospheric column. Yes, plus hormones, a transition period. It is not yet clear who is harder – you or the teenager. Then let it lie around. He will come to communicate when he is healed and ready.
The only advice I would probably give myself again when staying with kids over the holidays is to pay attention to them.
…When my children were just starting to play sports, I often went to their competitions, and there was always this picture: The little ones were full of spectators; mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers. They are all anxious, cheering on the young athletes, photographing every move. However, as the athlete gets older, his support group shrinks. Children over the age of 12 often came with the team without their mother or father. And it was so…sad or something. Yes of course they are not small anymore and do not need to be checked. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be supported. Maybe that’s what our long weekend with Olivier will do.
The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the position of the editors.