Mikhail Khors Why do we revive bad memories 10/04/2023, 08:00

Nostalgia is often referred to as not only longing for the homeland but also longing for the past. Why do memories systematically arouse such interest and desire to share them? Why do nostalgic materials that invite people to reminisce spark a multitude of interpretations, even when the events are clearly devastating for an individual or society as a whole?

For example, readers of one of the blogs massively shared how they survived the post-perestroika crisis and default. You read these comments and it seems that after all, people had nothing to eat! Many of them lost the savings they had accumulated for years… They waited in queues for days for the most necessary things. And now they still remember, enthusiastically describe this time, tell about their difficulties and how they overcame them.

Something tells me that if you ask people to feel nostalgic about, say, the 1980 Olympics or any other event that can’t be described as negative, there will be far fewer people willing to share their feelings.

Why is this happening?

In response, they may tell you that our soul works this way. They say that events associated with negative emotions are remembered better. But if we turn to scientific research, we will not find unequivocal confirmation of this property of the soul. In fact, most researchers seem to hold the opposing view that events associated with positive emotions are remembered better.

I can say this: Most people want to remember something, especially something that is associated with positive emotions, and try to forget what was painful when remembered. And negative emotions are certainly pain, but they are personal, not physical.

You say stop. After all, above in the article it was written that people remember crises and defaults with enthusiasm, but at the same time you cannot make them tell you something about the positive events of that time…

I will describe various features of our memory and thought that explain this discrepancy.

Most people will obsessively remember something that made them experience positive emotions in the past if they cannot experience those emotions now. If the current situation of a person or society is predominantly prosperous, most likely the memory of the positive events of the past, if they occurred at all, will not be so vivid. Let’s face it, if your spirits are high right now, then you’ll likely be thinking about your future or focusing on the opportunities you have right now.

But when you are in a good, resourceful state, you will remember with enthusiasm how you fried the last potato with the whole room in a hungry and cold dormitory, or how you failed the test of strength with the whole group.

On the contrary, people who are chronically anxious and depressed are prone to classic nostalgia, which is precisely the longing for the past. They think about events that once gave them joy and pleasure. Events that seem unattainable and lost at the moment. And these thoughts drag such people into deeper negative experiences. Because longing is the pain of loss, the feeling of bitterness for past opportunities and times.

It seems that for most people, even in current living conditions, memories of life’s difficulties are more typical than classic joyful events. This in itself shows that society is now largely quite prosperous. After all, if our citizens were collectively experiencing chronic negative experiences, they would miss the “golden days” of the past much more.

But there is another secret in all of this. Memories of difficulties are primarily memories not of the difficulties themselves, but of how they were overcome.

In fact, a person who enthusiastically describes his difficulties and losses during default is actually sharing his successes with others. He explains how he was able to overcome these difficult days that resulted in gains and victories.

It is easy to find confirmation of these words in real life. For example, between Europeans and Russians during World War II. Consider their different attitudes towards World War II. For most people in Russia, memories of the Great Patriotic War are sacred. Yes, it was painful for millions of people. But we remember this pain because we won this war. Most European people suffered much less in this war than Soviet people. For example, the French lived this war “in fire”, as modern youth say. But they had much less to do with victory. That’s why they don’t particularly want to remember this war.

From here we can conclude that people want to talk about the challenges they have overcome. After all, in essence, they are not talking about problems, but about their strengths that help them overcome crises in life. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but this is the general pattern.

The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the position of the editors.