Anastasia Mironova Only graves and cards remain in the clinic About how vegans, raw food eaters, joggers and other elites are quietly going out of fashion 23.03.2023, 08:05

I follow with interest the development of the story of the raw food guru who led his own child to starvation. More precisely, there is nothing interesting in this madness itself: to judge and imprison. In a closed asylum. Because no sane person would think that a child would not eat. By the way, there are WHO recommendations on this to treat. Veganism and the raw food diet were recognized as a disease in 2015; In the classifier of mental disorders, this grief is listed in paragraph F63.8. So the conversation is short. The guru will meanwhile be taken to the right place and examined. The situation is not enviable: if they are found out to be sick, they will be sent to a mental institution. If he’s healthy, well-fed, and powdered his subscribers’ brains with his marathons, here’s a prison, they’ll add to the scam: He got paid like a raw food expert!

But all this is not interesting, you never know when people go crazy in Russia. Someone recently killed their own children to exorcise their inner demons. It is possible.

An interesting public reaction. All of a sudden we began to stare in amazement at these raw foodies as if they were old-fashioned snobs in shiny trousers. They are our turbulent past. We caught this disease quickly and mildly. Again, our long-term upbringing has helped: just as we don’t have time to eat fast food at monstrous proportions, here too: the West started earlier, but we’re also tied to this idiot. A maximum of ten years passed – they gradually began to forget about the raw food experts. We vaguely remember that somewhere there were people whose teeth were ground from hazelnuts, who lost half their weight, hair and nails, but were confident that they were on the road to eternal youth.

God, until recently vegan cafes were opening in all major cities and bakers were making a fortune off of raw food desserts. We had real vegan terrorists on social networks who were cursing at everyone who was a jackal and took off with a steak. These people were considered almost the highest form of life, and often accepted. They were chosen, had an iron will and threatened to live up to 150 years. We envied them. We believed that they looked younger than us, that their bodies were healthier than ours. They went to India, all over Bali for sun and fruit, and from there they told us that they had accessed the secrets of immortality. But then the pandemic struck, the countrymen fled to their cities, rents fell in Moscow, there was nothing to live in in Goa and there was no need because there is probably a fan and there is a queue for it. Vegans-raw foodists and other candidates for eternal life were drawn to Russia.

Was it like this? Admit it. There was a time when they appeared to be chosen. And act like the chosen ones. They didn’t speak but they spit on the lips with normal us. They are superior and we are aphids. Chubby overfeeders.

And before that, veganism was often associated with wealth. “They go crazy with the fat.” Because for all these brothers, the prices in the stores were fantastic. And restaurants served cabbage in breadcrumbs for the price of fresh trout. Being vegan was also flamboyant, the consumption situation was immediately emphasized: one is not just someone, one buys goods from a vegan shop.

The 30-year-olds, hung over from protein deficiency, brought themselves to the point of exhaustion and eventually had to quit work to conserve energy. In order to somehow make money from kilograms of cabbage, they began to hold online seminars on the benefits of a raw food diet, for which they had to turn to some ordinary food, but this was hidden from subscribers: the raw food specialist could not sell raw food diet, barely dragging his feet, so he was selling cheats. And so the base grew. To expand, the guys took an interest in the ad, showed fat handsome men and said that they only eat vegetables. This is how the pranaedenia gurus arose. The strong foreheads of the biceps men lied that they were just tired of the sun. Now I’m even ashamed to admit that we are like that. By the way, I’ve been a “raw food expert” for six months. But not because I suddenly believed in eternal youth: I later quit smoking and wanted to put myself in a strict frame so as not to get fat. It took. And by the way, I was just as fat on nuts with nuts. I really quit smoking: If you can barely move your legs, smoking is far from your basic needs. I will say it in good faith: on the third day of the diet, I forgot about smoking. Whats in there?! To be alive.

Of course, I told everyone I knew about my experiences. What happened to your friends. Other raw food experts did the same. A few years – and the country learned by word of mouth that the raw food diet is not a recipe for youth. And “born” raw food connoisseurs are only in advertising. In reality, they find themselves in the morgue.

In general, how much we have experienced since the 2010s, conditionally well-fed in Russia. In addition to eternal urine therapy and other leeches, we’ve had waves of so-called healthy lifestyles produced by New Age culture, and those waves have come to naught, leaving behind mountains of corpses and crowds of disabled people. I lived six years ago colon about which healthy lifestyle standards will be revised soon. It’s interesting to compare. For example, there were fewer runners, and people eventually learned that jumping at five in the morning and running in a gassy city instead of sleeping isn’t very helpful. And in general, they say that the joints are broken from running on asphalt. like a horse. And there was a time when some ran away, while others were biting their nails by the fact that they could not join them in any way. About ten years ago I stopped in the center of Moscow, went for a walk on the embankment in the evening and saw the runners. There were so many of them that it was not the office clerks who were recovering one by one, but the crowd that had been escaping from somewhere or someone, and I thought I had to flee. You rarely see a runner in the city these days.

And where did the fitness nyashki go? Shaking ass, biceps in eight girths? It turns out that bulk bench press on free weights leads to massive meniscus tears, vertebral hernias and simply heart attacks: try, heart, pump blood to feed all that muscle tissue! And if he rushes to run at five in the morning …

How long has the job of a fitness trainer been shrouded in an air of romance? But that’s all. And who are these coaches taking care of now? We lost the cult of increased muscle mass, we realized that it was unhealthy.

We also had detox experts. Who has always drank herbal detox smoothies and ate herb detox salads. I was one of the organizers of webinars on children’s detox, thinking that day he was pouring green purr on his little son at the maximum allowable dose of 5-6 nitrates per day. For example, she poured him a whole watermelon in the form of a smoothie at a time! And he organized workshops on the manufacture of nitrate bombs.

Nitrates are often shrewd citizens, forgotten after the whim of healing. It was generally accepted that only saltpeter irrigated vegetables and watermelons. And they are everywhere. And there are vegetables where nitrates go through the roof even when grown organically. This is unfortunately cabbage, beets, carrots – the three saviors of the local climate’s raw food connoisseurs. A raw food expert in central Russia ate five times as much nitrate in some raw salads. In terms of medicine, the raw food specialist in Russia did not survive, but was in an ongoing state of nitrate syncope.

Not everything is easy with fruit eaters either. And it’s not even about fruit growers. How much have we heard about antioxidants that should be consumed as much as possible? The timid voices of scientists deciphering everything about antioxidants in the last century have timidly tried to scold educators who poured onto the Internet: With an excess of antioxidants, a person will face the same cellular problems as their deficiency, because the notorious free radicals interfere with cellular metabolism. And in general, scientists said that if there are kilograms of fruit, antioxidants may no longer be needed – the liver-destroying fructose will kill the person who eats the fruit. You won’t believe it, but many fruits like vodka cause cirrhosis. A liver ultrasound doctor can’t tell if it’s a fruit eater in front of him or a drunk who hasn’t been out of delirium for twenty years. There are even scientists who believe that humanity could shrink naturally due to an established transcontinental fruit trade: until the sixties, people never ate that much fruit, only consuming some seasonally and a little because they were not always accessible. Humans are not designed to metabolize fructose. After 200 years of a fruit-rich diet, there will be half as many people as ours on the planet. They were afraid of a nuclear apocalypse, but we will die from apples in all four seasons.

Seems like nonsense today. Five years ago, there were raw food experts on television shows. A restaurant without a vegan menu is not a restaurant. And now I’d rather believe that people paid 100k for a success recipe from Lerchik-Artemchik than to carry their money for a raw salad recipe and solar nutrition …

All this seems so intense now, no traces left in the memory. Rare adherents of a raw food diet, veganism, or a five o’clock run are still making themselves felt. They are perceived as neophytes growing in the knowledge gap. When they enter television, we look at them as a hello from the distant past. Ah, yes, we remember something, once when we were young, clothes were bought two sizes smaller. In those years, we passionately dreamed of running early, crouching in Smith’s car, and of course we dared to go vegan. Fortunately, we do not have the will to make our dreams come true. Here – as in MMM. The lazy one won again, who did not run anywhere in the early morning and did not spend money on kilograms of arugula. Because now only the graves and cards in the polyclinic remained from the willful pioneers …

The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the editors’ position.