The motivations behind a partner’s communication with other women can vary. A man might be seeking an affair, defending his choices, going through an age-related crisis, or valuing friendship. In every case, there is often a sense that something valuable is missing from the relationship. This is the core idea shared by psychologist Nadezhda Akimova in discussions with socialbites.ca, who explored why men sometimes engage in conversations that appear to sidestep the primary relationship.
The psychologist notes that the most troubling reason behind a partner’s contact with women outside the relationship is the pursuit of an affair. Men may turn to this path when emotional or physical closeness is lacking. The pattern of messages can reveal signals that a man is seeking a mistress, and in such cases it is wise to manage expectations and avoid wishful thinking.
Yet the situation is not always this straightforward. Sometimes men genuinely want to talk to someone else. This represents a secondary reason for “side” conversations. When a partner feels unheard or lacks someone to open up to, reaching out to others can become a way to unburden thoughts and emotions, even if the beloved partner is present in daily life.
Midlife changes also play a role. As men move beyond youth, the reality of aging can feel confronting. The psychologist explains that older men may start to crave proof of continued attractiveness or relevance, which can manifest as seeking connection with others as a form of reassurance or self-confirmation.
Another pattern tends to mirror the previous one: men communicate with other women to gain attention and sympathy. Being noticed by someone new can feel gratifying and can feed a sense of achievement. However, it is difficult to predict how far such self-affirmation will go and whether it will remain at casual messaging or escalate into something more significant.
Some men frame their actions as belonging to polygamous preferences. In many cases, this stance reflects a lack of steady values or a volatile temperament rather than a deeply held belief. Extending a life to collect validation from multiple partners may appear meaningful to them, but it often clashes with the norms and values of their partners. For those whose principles oppose this behavior, it is prudent to disengage from such dynamics.
Friendship is another common justification. There are people who believe friendships between men and women can exist and thrive without romantic implications. While some relationships do evolve into genuine, platonic connections, others may blur boundaries. The key question is whether those interactions respect the primary relationship and the emotional needs of the partner at home.
Even when there is trust, it is rarely possible to conclude definitively that all communications with others constitute real betrayal. Each situation deserves careful consideration, with attention to intent, frequency, and impact on the partnership. When concerns arise, consulting a family psychologist can help clarify boundaries and guide decisions that align with shared values and goals.
In some cases, lingering self-doubt and insecurity can lead to social hesitation and concerns about judgment from a partner. Addressing these feelings openly, through appropriate channels, can reduce misinterpretations and prevent unnecessary friction in the relationship.