Oto Vans shares the personal journey of a challenging gender transition on her social channels for the first time. After years of silence, the former Survivor participant decides to make her path public through the documentary I Always Was Odette, revealing the woman she has always identified as. Odette Vans speaks openly about the impact this revelation has on her life and the people around her.
Clearly moved, the Croatian creator explains the weight of this moment, describing it as coming out again. She explains that she introduced herself as Oto on social platforms, and changing that identity is daunting, as fear of rejection lingers. Oto rose to online prominence more than a decade ago, earning attention for makeup artistry and a distinctive perspective on men’s grooming. Her charisma and humor helped amass a sizable audience, with hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram today.
In the documentary, the phenomenon reflects on difficult childhood experiences and later life challenges, including struggles with substance use. The setting includes the evangelical community where many years were spent and which left a lasting mark on the decision to live openly as Odette.
“I fear opening up again and facing rejection,” she admits with tears, asking followers to call her Odette, the name she now uses online.
In the first portion of the documentary, Vans recounts a painful childhood. Her mother and brother, along with a psychologist, accompany her as Odette discusses internal battles and the environment she grew up in that did not accept her. Odette describes reclaiming the freedom she never had in youth, a process that helped her become the woman she is today. From sharing content online with the label of being chaotic and unstable to finding a space of her own, the journey unfolds with honesty and vulnerability.
Her early experiences were shaped by teachings from the church, which she later chose to leave behind. The life path once believed to be a straight and conventional one came under scrutiny as she confronted beliefs about sexuality that conflicted with who she was. The message she carries emphasizes that happiness and authentic identity can coexist with personal courage and support from a trusted network.
Odette’s journey has not been simple. Alongside cosmetic procedures, she faced internal struggles with self-acceptance and the challenge of gaining acceptance from others. The path has included moments of depression, yet it also brought a clearer sense of purpose and belonging as she embraced her truth.
Odette in Survivors
In 2019, Odette joined the Survivor adventure, sharing the island with a diverse cast including Colate, Dakota, Omar Montes, Isabel Pantoja, Chelo García Cortés, and Azúcar Moreno. The experience, however, did not leave her with wholly positive memories of her time in Honduras, where she describes a profound sense of dissonance with the setting and the portrayal of events. Statements made on a popular podcast at the time highlighted tensions around management and control while on the show, with attendees recounting strict expectations and punitive undertones if guidelines were not followed. She speaks from personal experience about feeling misunderstood and constrained by the production environment.
Odette has suggested that she would not participate in a survival competition again, citing the pressures and the emotional impact of that period. The reflections underscore a broader theme about reality television: the tension between authentic self-expression and the realities of a highly structured production framework.
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