Researchers from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus explored how people choose to end friendships and which methods are most common. Their findings were published in a scholarly journal that covers personality and individual differences. The study shed light on the practical steps individuals take when they decide to step back from a friendship and how these choices unfold in real life across different social contexts.
The team began with a group of 225 participants who described the actions they would consider when ending a friendship. Through in-depth discussions, investigators mapped out 43 distinct pathways for disengagement. A second group of 469 volunteers then reviewed these options, allowing the researchers to identify three standout strategies for reducing or severing contact. The first strategy, distancing, preserves some form of contact while gradually loosening the intensity of the relationship. The second, a complete and abrupt ending, stops all lines of communication at once. The third, gradual distancing, involves a slow tapering of the bond until the friendship fades away. Among these, the gradual approach emerged as the most frequently chosen, while the abrupt end was the least common.
The study also highlighted that the choice of strategy tended to align with the nature of the relationship. When the friendship was ordinary and lacked significant emotional weight, participants often opted for a slow, ongoing withdrawal or a quiet drift away. In contrast, relationships tainted by negative memories or painful experiences more commonly led to an immediate and decisive termination. The researchers noted that this abrupt approach was more typical among men and older adults, whereas younger people and women showed a greater preference for gradual withdrawal when possible. These patterns suggest that personal history, perceived emotional risk, and age-related perspectives can shape how people manage social endings, sometimes in ways that protect their well being or minimize potential conflict.
Beyond describing the methods, the researchers emphasize the practical implications of these strategies for understanding friendship dynamics in contemporary life. Endings can influence social networks, mental health, and daily interactions within communities. For individuals seeking guidance, recognizing the option to taper a relationship with care, or to end it firmly and cleanly, may support better communication and reduce lingering tension. Mental health professionals, educators, and counselors can use these insights to discuss healthy boundary setting, coping with uncomfortable memories, and building resilient social circles. The findings also invite reflection on how cultural norms and personal experiences shape decisions about closing chapters in friendships, and how younger generations might adopt different approaches as social expectations evolve.