Researchers from the University of California, Berkeley, have identified what should be shown in a dating profile to increase the chances of a date. The study appeared in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (JESP).
Associate Professor Juliana Schroeder, one of the study’s authors, notes that many dating app and site users make the same missteps. When they fill out personal information, they tend to highlight the traits and hobbies that make them stand out, hoping that will spark interest.
Schroeder explains that people want to be understood and supported, so they search for partners who will see and stand by them.
Yet there is a key detail that is often neglected. It matters that a potential partner is ready to engage and invest in the relationship. To improve dating outcomes, users should clearly convey their willingness to connect and participate in the budding relationship.
The researchers validated these ideas in experiments. In one study, participants assessed how well they knew a spouse, family member, or friend compared with how much others knew about them. They then rated their own relationship satisfaction on a seven-point scale.
The results showed a common bias: people often believe they know their loved ones better than their loved ones know them. This phenomenon has been described as the illusion of asymmetrical understanding and is linked to confidence in one’s own uniqueness.
In another experiment, participants were shown two nearly identical dating profile scenarios in which they met an acquaintance at a party. In the first case, the participant forgot the friend’s name; in the second, the name was forgotten by another. Participants described the emotions in both moments. In the first instance, there was a hint of embarrassment about forgetfulness; in the second, the reaction tended toward offense at being forgotten.
Following this, the team created several dozen dating-site profiles. Half the profiles emphasized the author’s qualifications, while the other half stressed a genuine wish to get to know a future partner. A panel of about 250 people rated the profiles on an attractiveness scale from one to seven. Consistently, raters preferred profiles where the writer expressed a desire to know the other person rather than merely present themselves.
Looking ahead, the researchers plan to apply these insights to study other kinds of relationships, such as those between parents and children or coworkers, to understand how profile communication shapes connection across different dynamics.
In short, a key takeaway for anyone aiming to meet someone meaningful is to signal not just who they are, but their readiness to engage—because mutual interest is what often makes a real connection possible (JESP, 2023).