Kesken left one nightclub to go to another. Istanbul woke to warm air as the clock neared two in the morning on May 4. Friends wanted to celebrate, and the city gave them a sky full of stars and a hopeful pulse they felt in their bones.
A policeman halted the group in the street. Kesken was the only transgender person in the gathering. They began to call her a string of insults and she found herself swept into trouble. At the police station she was placed in a separate room. The officer who handled the room was rough. A stick struck her face. A hand grabbed her and she was pushed toward a bathroom. Water filled a dirty bag, and the assault continued from behind. Someone slapped her down and blood mixed with the room’s cold air. They demanded she apologize; she refused and shouted, insisting she had done nothing wrong. The only way out was through an apology she did not want to give, so she finally spoke words she did not mean while tears rolled down her cheeks, trying to forget a memory she does not want to relive.
Since that night, fear shadows her steps. Going out feels dangerous. She no longer walks alone and keeps pepper spray ready at hand. Any touch makes her tremble. She scans the space behind her constantly. The struggle feels endless. Friends offer support, yet they cannot fully grasp the weight of what she endures every day.
Kesken has lived twenty five years with courage. She is tall and striking, and she made a transformation not long ago. Her family, initially distressed, now sees her differently. Her mother no longer calls her son but daughter, while relatives tease out humor and pride, trying to bridge the gap between past and present. She loves her country deeply and respects its people, but she also believes in a society that welcomes everyone. The harsh treatment faced by trans people and many others continues to press hard on daily life in Turkey, turning acceptance into a distant dream for many.
of course change
The mood shifted in 2016. Before that year, Istanbul carried the rainbow as a sign of pride every June, a communal gesture that reflected a broad spectrum of identity. The world watched as Pride Month was celebrated, and the government at that time appeared to tolerate these expressions. Yet a shift came as the ruling party grew more nationalistic, and public dissent faced tighter limits.
The stance toward LGBTQ+ people shifted as well. Officials started labeling dissidents as threats, and a sense of danger around visible difference grew. Recently, statements from high offices have echoed a harsher tone toward gender and sexuality, portraying those who identify as LGBTQ+ as enemies rather than members of the community.
“Anyone in this country who does not share that view risks being branded a terrorist. The fight for equality remains a question not just for law but for humanity. Someone please explain how a person can seek dignity without fear,” says a transgender woman who has spent years advocating for rights in Turkey.
“We are cut off from work. Doors close for us, and many of us are forced to survive through means we did not choose. I was compelled to take to the streets and live by selling my body to endure the days. I did what I had to do to survive”, explains Ece, speaking with quiet resolve about a life shaped by systemic barriers.
without alternative
Kesken faced the same pressures. Despite education and training, finding a normal job proved nearly impossible. The social atmosphere keeps many trans people on the margins, where risk and vulnerability are constant companions. They often face abuse and a sense of not belonging, as if they are always in a state of exile within their own country. This reality shapes every decision and limits every hope for a fair chance.
“My only goal is to have the identity on my official documents recognized as a woman. That recognition would be a step toward freedom and the chance to build a life with someone who loves me. That is all I want, plain and true”, Kesken shares, a quiet but unwavering dream that keeps her moving forward despite the weight she carries.