An Ibiza-born woman endured more than three years of abuse in France from her former partner. French courts eventually granted her custody of their three minor children, affirming her parental authority. The Meaux Judicial Court confirmed she holds full decision-making power over the children in the region where they reside.
Yet the victory in court did not remove every obstacle. To relocate abroad with the children now aged six, ten, and sixteen, she must obtain signed consent from the father before moving forward.
After their separation, the ex-partner restricted her finances. He challenged a rental agreement in his name after the judge awarded her the family home. He also cut the telephone line that had been under his control, deepening her isolation.
She left the relationship in June 2018, recalling telling him he was destroying her life. Threats and controlling behavior followed, and he tried to intimidate her, insisting that if she left, the children would stay with him. He even attempted to sever ties with a boy who played basketball with one of their sons, a witness who later testified in court. Witnesses described aggressive episodes directed at the children, and abusive conduct toward them was observed.
Fear of reporting
Despite the fear, she sought help from a victims’ association focused on gender-based violence and from social services. They urged her to report the abuse and raise concerns about potential harm to the children. She also requested a restraining order, but it was not granted because no immediate danger existed if the ex-partner approached the home.
At that time, the ex-partner was away from the residence, and she planned a trip to Ibiza with the children. He moved to the prefecture to seek a time-limited order to stop her from leaving the country with the children, invoking urgent protection and detention measures.
During an urgent hearing in July 2023, the French judiciary granted the mother exclusive residence of the home that had previously been in the ex-partner’s name and allowed the father to see the children only every two weeks. Custody remained shared. The family faced an eviction order when the lease was canceled after the mother was awarded sole occupancy of the premises she had moved into with the children.
Despite these rulings, the Ibiza-born mother continued the legal fight to gain full custody. In a later hearing she achieved that goal, but the ruling did not remove the need for the father’s consent to leave France with the children. She noted that in Ibiza the family would have a three-bedroom home and a nearby hospital, whereas in France the epilepsy routines require urgent hospital access, often about an hour away. The distance and logistics are harder to manage. She regards her resources in France as limited and the situation increasingly untenable.
Blocked and without resources
The youngest child needed extra support during the pandemic, as masking for long hours in school was challenging. To help, the mother provided homeschooling for two years for both children, a choice permitted under French law. During that period, the father worked in finance while the mother had recently sold a herbal shop in central Sant Antoni. She also mentions receiving an inheritance that provided some income. This circumstance delayed her search for work in France and meant she did not open a local bank account there.
Now she faces a crucial barrier: she cannot access her accounts in Spain because the bank requires a numeric code that arrives to a phone line no longer controlled due to the ex-partner’s actions. To cover basic expenses, she has relied on close friends who transfer money via prepaid cards, but she remains blocked with no viable resources or family to lean on.
There is help for survivors of violence. A national hotline exists for victims of gender-based violence, available around the clock in multiple languages, offering confidential support. In urgent cases, emergency services respond quickly for immediate assistance. These lines provide essential support for those facing abuse, fear, and threats, even when legal barriers seem insurmountable.
The case highlights the challenges faced by women dealing with domestic violence across borders, especially when custody and relocation rights collide with parental authority and safety concerns. It shows how legal systems in different countries interact with personal safety needs, financial control, and the practical realities of caring for children with medical needs. In the meantime, the survivor’s situation remains precarious as she navigates custody rulings, potential travel with the children, and the ongoing struggle to reestablish independence and financial stability.
Emergency support is available for anyone in immediate danger or distress, and services exist to provide guidance in several languages to help people access protection when needed.