An Ibiza-born woman who has lived in France for three and a half years says she feels trapped in the country after enduring a harrowing ordeal of alleged abuse from her ex-partner. French courts granted her custody of their three minor children, according to the victim, who wants to return to the island now that the judiciary has recognized her rights and awarded full paternal authority, as described in the Meaux Judicial Court’s ruling, in the region where the family resides.
However, this outcome is not enough. To leave France with her children, aged six, ten, and sixteen, she must obtain signed authorization from the father of the three minors.
The woman explains that after she decided to end the relationship with her French ex-partner, he began to strangle her financially. He first ruined the rental agreement, which was in his name, after the judge gave her the family home. Then he cut the phone line that was also under his name.
In her own words, in June 2018 she chose to leave the relationship. She recalls that telling him he was destroying her life led to threats and control. He responded by attempting to scare her and by insisting that if she left, the children would stay with him. He even tried to sever ties with a boy who played basketball with one of their sons, a child who would later testify in court. The woman says she observed him mistreating the children and witnesses describe episodes of aggression toward them.
Fear of reporting
Despite the heavy fear, she eventually sought help from a victims’ association focused on gender-based violence and from social services. They encouraged her to file both a report on the abuse she had suffered and new allegations about harm to the children. She also requested a restraining order against the man, but the judge did not grant it because there was no immediate danger if the ex-partner approached.
At the time, the ex-partner was away from home, and she was planning a trip to Ibiza with the children. He moved to the prefecture to seek a time-limited order that would prevent her from leaving the country with the children for a period of days, invoking immediate protection and detention measures.
During an urgent hearing held in July 2023, the French judiciary granted the mother exclusive residence of the home previously in his name and allowed the father to see the children only every two weeks. Yet custody remained shared. The family was served an eviction order when the home lease was canceled after the mother was awarded sole occupancy of the premises she had moved into with the children.
Despite these rulings, the Ibiza-born mother continued the legal fight to gain full custody of her three children. In a subsequent hearing she achieved that goal, but the ruling did not remove the necessity to obtain the father’s consent to leave France with the children. She notes that in Ibiza the family would have a house with three bedrooms and a nearby hospital, whereas in France a child’s epileptic seizures require urgent hospital access, often about an hour away, making the distance and logistics harder to manage. She laments that her resources in France are limited and the situation feels increasingly untenable.
Blocked and without resources
The youngest child needed extra support during the pandemic, as mask-wearing for long hours at school was difficult. To accommodate this, the mother provided homeschooling for two years for both her son and her older child, a choice possible under French law. At that time the father worked in finance and the mother had recently sold a herbal shop in the center of Sant Antoni; she also mentions receiving an inheritance that provided some income. This circumstance delayed her search for work in France and meant she did not open a local bank account there.
Now she faces a crucial obstacle: she cannot access her accounts in Spain because the bank requires a numeric code that arrives to a phone line that is no longer controlled by her due to the ex-partner’s actions. To cover basic expenses she has relied on close friends who give money via prepaid cards, but she remains blocked, with no viable resources or family to lean on and unable to change the situation.
There is a ray of help for violence survivors. A national hotline exists for victims of gender-based violence, available around the clock in multiple languages, offering confidential support. In urgent cases, emergency services can respond quickly for immediate assistance. These lines provide essential support for those facing abuse, fear, and threats, even when legal barriers seem insurmountable.
The case highlights the significant challenges faced by women dealing with domestic violence across borders, especially when custody and relocation rights collide with parental authority and safety concerns. It underscores how legal systems in different countries can interact with personal safety needs, financial control, and the practical realities of caring for children with medical needs. In the meantime, the survivor’s situation remains precarious as she navigates custody rulings, potential travel with the children, and the ongoing struggle to reestablish independence and financial stability.
Emergency support is available for anyone in immediate danger or distress, and services exist to provide guidance in several languages to help people access the protection they need.