Summer invites conversations about the heart, and this season brings fresh news about our country’s morals. Either the rules are tightening, or people feel freer to speak honestly. It’s not yet clear how to read the latest numbers on marital fidelity or what they truly reveal about behavior today.
A large career site, SuperJob, conducted a survey on this very topic. Surprisingly, 69% of men and 81% of women said they had not betrayed their partners. Meanwhile, 14% of men and 7% of women admitted some inner fault, and the remaining 17% and 12% avoided the question, showing embarrassment or reluctance. A separate look at the same service from twelve years ago showed higher figures: 28% of men and 17% of women acknowledged cheating—twice the current level.
What explains betrayal has stayed largely the same for more than ten years. The leading reasons are family troubles (14%), a longing for new experiences and variety (12%), and falling in love (9%). Gender differences show up too: men often cite a lack of intimacy at home, while women frequently betray out of hurt or a wish for revenge.
Another finding is worth noting. A strong majority, 76%, believe that infidelity should lead to divorce because living with a cheater signals a lack of self-respect. Ten years ago, VTsIOM did not survey consequences of infidelity. But other data existed. For example, about ten years ago the leading cause of divorce cited in surveys was infidelity at 24%. Since 2021, financial problems have risen to 33% as the top issue, with infidelity dropping to third place at 14% behind lack of mutual understanding (15%).
Meanwhile, divorces have risen. Today roughly 70% of marriages end in separation, up from about 55% a decade ago. Marriages are also on the decline, with the number of registered unions falling by about one third in recent years.
When one compares these sometimes conflicting trends, it may seem that cheating has become rarer not because people have grown more virtuous, but because they can avoid dramatic endings more easily. Philosophers long suggested that once marriages stop being indissoluble, adultery would fade away. They may have missed the practical shift: people stay together for other reasons—children, mortgages, or habits—that make a breakup more complicated than the act of love itself. Not every union lasts for love alone, even in a modern age, yet life and affection have become more accessible.
If someone, bound by traditional ties, misses a chance for a casual affair at a party and then encounters a new romantic spark, divorce can seem like a simpler path. For those without bonds, the issue may appear less dramatic. A story ends and a new one begins—some describe this as serial monogamy, while others point to the rise of openly negotiated polyamory. Dating apps today frequently feature terms like open relationships or friends with benefits, reflecting a broader spectrum of expectations. In this view, betrayal is less about moral failure and more about personal boundaries and consent.
Yet not everyone embraces this shift. A reverse trend exists as well. Some communities promote traditional values, or at least navigate the fear triggered by dramatic media portrayals. People now examine their partner’s actions more closely, particularly when another person’s fidelity is in question, rather than simply accepting a relationship as it was once defined.
From observational notes, there seems to be a widespread anxiety about betrayal. Or perhaps jealousy and suspicion were always present, now amplified by online connectivity. It is hard to tell. The digital world fills feeds with complaints from both sides—one group paints all partners as untrustworthy, the other counters with stories of deceit and endless rumors. In extreme cases, people compare data from various apps, monitor partners, and craft messages in secret voices. It can feel wild and chaotic.
Why does this happen? The mix is strange. In a society with broad freedom, there is also intense neo-Puritanism and a blunt cynicism that clashes with the idea of honest, straightforward living. People feel unsure about what to expect from others and worry about whether trust can survive. Yet when calm is possible, the focus shifts to peace, honesty, and depth in relationships. Betrayal seems unnecessary and exhausting, more about drama than truth. Some say dating platforms attract dreamers chasing big, dramatic endings, while others see genuine pathways to different kinds of commitment.
So, the current view is not simply that people cheat less, but that there are more pathways to change without entangling everyone in a messy breakup. In matters of relationships, practicality often matters as much as emotion. The era favors choices that align with real life: shared responsibility, transparent expectations, and mutual respect. This shifts the emphasis away from melodramatic endings toward sustainable connections that work for today’s world.
Overall, the conversation on fidelity is evolving. It moves beyond simple moral judgments toward a nuanced understanding of choices, boundaries, and lasting partnerships.
Note: The content reflects varied perspectives and themes and may not align with every editorial position.