A study conducted by American psychologists at Columbia University explored how people react to positive and negative information when some details must remain hidden. The researchers found that sharing bad news early often helps people cope, while keeping good news private can boost personal mood and emotional energy. The findings appeared in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a respected peer reviewed journal. They highlight a subtle balance between what we reveal and what we protect, and they remind us that the timing of information can shape how others feel and respond.
The researchers note that negative secrets appear to be more common than positive ones, yet many of life’s happiest moments—such as proposals, pregnancies, unexpected gifts, and thrilling discoveries—often begin in the realm of secrecy. When people choose to keep good news private, the act itself can create positive feelings and a sense of anticipation. Positive secrets tend to energize those who hold them because the information is personal and connected to a perceived sense of control over one’s own fate. This internal locus of control helps explain why keeping certain good news can feel empowering and reinforcing to one’s self image.
On the other hand, the secrecy around negative information is usually driven by factors outside a person’s control. Shame, fear of judgment, or the potential harm to others can sustain these secrets. Psychologists describe a drain on emotional resources when such information is hidden, especially when the concealment becomes prolonged. The emotional load of maintaining a secret that is distressing can erode a person’s resilience and social energy over time.
In practical terms, the scientists offer a simple recommendation when someone faces a choice about how to share news. If a person can choose which news to deliver first, starting with the bad news may reduce the listener’s immediate stress and clear the way for a more positive conversation when the good news follows. This approach can create a more manageable emotional arc for both parties, allowing relief and then celebration rather than a sudden emotional clash. The strategy aligns with broader findings in social psychology about how information sequencing affects mood and perceived support within conversations.
Beyond the sequence of sharing, the research touches on everyday communication patterns in friendships, families, and romantic relationships. Positive information kept private often serves as a personal reserve of strength that can be drawn upon when needed. Yet it is important to recognize that not all positive news should be withheld. When there is a clear benefit to sharing early with trusted people, a thoughtful disclosure can deepen connection and trust. The balance depends on the context, the stakes, and the potential impact on others who are involved.
For people who tend to reveal everything at once, these findings offer a reminder that pacing and timing matter. A measured approach to sharing both good and bad news can help preserve emotional energy and sustain healthy relationships. In professional settings, the same principles can apply. Delivering difficult information with compassion, followed by hopeful or constructive updates, can foster a sense of safety and collaboration in teams and workplaces. This approach is not about fabricating a story; it is about managing the emotional journey through information in a way that respects the feelings of others and supports clearer decision making.
Researchers emphasize that the best approach varies with the individuals involved and the specifics of the situation. Cultural norms, personal experiences, and the nature of the secrets all influence how news should be communicated. The overarching message is to consider both what is shared and what remains private, and to align disclosure with intentions to protect well being and to maintain authentic connections. The evolving science of secrets continues to shed light on how people navigate vulnerability, trust, and shared reality in daily life.
In summary, the central idea from this line of research is simple yet profound: the timing of information can shape our emotions and our relationships. Holding onto good news can be a source of personal strength, while revealing bad news thoughtfully can reduce emotional strain for everyone involved. The practical takeaway is to approach secrecy and disclosure with intention, clarity, and consideration for how others may be affected, especially in matters that touch on important life moments and sensitive personal details.