Scientists have named the main psychological traps that prevent people from permanently breaking up with the wrong partner. The problem lies in reinforcement and incentive mechanisms. informs Psychology Today.
According to Seth Gillihan, an American psychologist and behavioral therapist, failed relationships can be addictive because of one’s tendency to hope that the situation will improve. In this case, even small positive changes provide an incentive to keep the unhappy love relationship intact.
The expert compared this behavior with experiments in which laboratory animals had to press a lever to receive a reward. The system was set up in such a way that food was distributed in an unpredictable way; the reward would appear sometimes after one button press, sometimes after five, and sometimes after 20. Observations have shown that the expectation of a reward encourages you to do the same actions over and over again in hopes of a result.
The psychologist noted that even small improvements in bad relationships give people a double boost, because our brains are rewarded not only for positive things, but also for eliminating negative things. The psychological rewards and good feelings towards a partner make breaking up much more difficult.
The scientist suggested that in order to break the vicious circle, learn to recognize patterns in your behavior and emotions, limit or completely stop relationships with a bad partner, and resist thoughts that the next attempt to improve relationships will surely succeed.
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