It is impossible to love a new person, a blood relative, just because you gave birth to them, and the “maternal instinct” is explained by socio-cultural factors. Clinical psychologist Stanislav Sambursky told socialbites.ca why the obligatory maternal instinct is a myth.
According to the expert, maternal instinct is considered as a mother’s incredible and unconditional love for her child and the desire to protect him. But in reality everything is not so simple and the maternal instinct is absent at all.
“Sometimes new mothers seem to fall in love with their children right after birth, as soon as they hold them. But actually in this case, a sensation is created because when the child is born, he and his mother literally “bath” in oxytocin. It is a hormone that is responsible for feelings of tenderness and compassion and is actively produced after childbirth to help the body cope with postpartum pain. And this, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with love, ”said Sambursky.
Everything called the maternal instinct is the basic concepts of motherhood and parenting: care, patience, protection. And there is no mention of love here, because in the unconditional version it is impossible – this feeling is processed and does not appear immediately after the child is born, which is absolutely normal.
“Young mothers go to hundreds of psychotherapists and ask them what’s going on and why they don’t like their children. But here you just need to calm down because actually everything is fine. Oftentimes, those who say they’re instantly in love with their children are just wishful thinking. They get emotional when they look at the child in the cradle, but it has nothing to do with love,” said the clinical psychologist.
Moreover, according to him, the evolutionary mechanism that nature invented for people to care for their offspring is compassion and affection. But it’s definitely not love.
“There is no maternal instinct. Everything that is understood from this concept is a sociocultural factor. There are countries where mothers are ready to give and actually sell their daughters for their wives from the age of 10. It may seem like a terrible cruelty, but if there was a maternal instinct, would hundreds of thousands of women go for it? That’s the whole answer. The maternal instinct is a cultural trait of every nation and is “cultivated” by evolutionary traits in the form of care and protection of offspring.
Formerly a psychologist announcedWhether it is possible to allow children to use cosmetics.