“Mom please take me to the orphanage”
According to Svetlana Drozdova, a social worker at one of the Moscow schools, the proposed state support measures can indeed help many large families who need additional financial support. All the same, the risks especially for entrepreneurial mothers just to get rich cannot be ignored.
“Almost every day I have to work with difficult teenagers whose problem is that their parents don’t need them. Now my school has five children from large dysfunctional families. In three, the mothers withheld the payments they received from the state. They forget to buy shoes or notebooks for their children, they forget their name, but they never forget to apply for help,” says a teacher with 30 years of experience.
Naturally, this is not the vast majority, Drozdova explains, while families with many children who care for children are more common, but those who still need help are not uncommon.
“I once called the mother of one of the difficult teens for a chat.
The boy looked into his parents’ eyes and said, “Mom, please take me to the orphanage.” I told him that if the situation did not change, my son and perhaps other children would have to be removed. The woman then looked at the boy very angrily and said that she would not lose her livelihood “because of her stupidity”.
For example, I am a mother by profession and “this juvenile delinquent” wants to annoy him, so he talks badly about him.
And the fact that the boy was afraid to spend the night at home with a drinking mother and her constant suitors, who systematically beat her, did not seem to notice at all, ”says the teacher.
He smeared his face on the vomit, dipped his head in a pot
She shared the story of those who had many children, all three of whom were confiscated, and Elena Petrasheva, the primary school teacher of one of the Moscow schools. About ten years ago, he had to work with a family where the children were in such a dangerous situation that he had to take even the youngest to spend the night in his apartment.
“Drinking a single mom with a bunch of guys and hating kids is a standard scenario. His eldest son, Tolya, was in the ninth grade and was a nationalist. The boy had a swastika tattoo on his big toe, he walked with friends on the street and beat immigrants, robbed them and frightened adults,” recalls Petrasheva.
Also, according to him, there were two more children in the family – first grader Sasha and four-year-old Artem. Worried about his student’s bruises, the teacher visited the family and saw even the youngest being beaten.
“Sasha opened the door for me. On the floor, covered with bruises, among the cigarette butts, Artyom was crawling and crying loudly. Drunk, her mother passed out in the kitchen in front of a bottle of vodka that stood proudly on the table. I quickly collected the children and took them home,” the teacher shares.
And he adds that after picking up the children, he called the social teacher from school and reported what had happened, and the situation in the family was reported to the guardianship the next day. The scariest details emerged when teachers and psychologists were talking to children.
If Artyom or Sasha refused to eat, they would force the food into their mouths, forcing them to swallow without chewing. Sometimes Artyom was offended by this and then ran his face through the vomit.
Tolya also said that her mother once received very little money for them, so she cursed all day, asked why she gave birth to children, and described them as “worthless”. In the evening, when Artyom, sitting on the potty, asked for a drink, he got angry and several times dipped his head in the urine, then forced him to drink, ”says Petrasheva.
Now, according to the teacher, all the boys live in another family, in addition to them there are five more children. He kept in touch with them for the first few years, and then they left the country. Still, she knows that in the new family the children are not happy and worried.
“Grow up new faces”
Social worker Anastasia Mikhailovskaya led the large Petrov family for almost seven years, until her retirement. She so far remembers the parents of six children with horror, and she is afraid to imagine what eventually grows out of them.
“Pasha Petrov and his sister Nika were famous in the region. Veronica was stealing phone calls from her classmates and selling them on the street. He once stole an eighth grader’s jacket and even wore it to school, saying it was his sister’s jacket. He couldn’t walk. Local guys called it “two boxes of strikes and a pack of cigarettes”. Since the sixth grade, she devoted herself to boys for alcohol and cigarettes, often extorting money from them, begging or stealing. I know she often takes home meals with them—she fed the youngsters.
Pasha was even more difficult. He had a lot of young friends and was in charge of the company along with his two younger brothers. Pasha was fourteen, his brothers eight and eleven. They rode bicycles or drove with knives and sticks, grabbed people, robbed them, beat them,” the teacher shares.
And he remembers that a teacher from the school where Pavel worked said that he met “Petrov and his team” on the street, followed the woman and asked them to give the earrings well, saying how much they loved them. . Then a knife appeared in Pasha’s hand. The teacher shouted at the children, frightened them, and they fled in all directions.
“I also know that Nika once asked her for money, objecting to the fact that she took a “child” from her mother and told her to “roll her lip”. Nika then said that you don’t work, the children say what will you do when they grow up. She said that she will give birth to new ones, ”Mikhailovskaya said.
He stole a car and pissed on the police
Oksana Kharina worked at school as a social pedagogue for several years. And the most memorable difficult teenager from large families in his practice was ninth grader Alexei Nikolaev, whose mother openly declared to the boy that he and his sisters were not kicked out of the house because they were “so far useful”.
“He came to my office one day and a narcotic substance wrapped in foil fell out of his pocket. She spat at home on towels and a pot of soup, skipped school and was drunk when she arrived and even drank brandy in class, ”says Kharina.
According to him, the boy’s behavior was caused by the rejection of his parents, as well as the constant bullying and hatred towards him, which caused such a protest.
Also, the social pedagogue says that the child is registered with the guardianship authorities and the PDN, but still constantly commits illegal acts. Kharina sometimes covered the teenager, if she caught him in petty hooliganism, she regretted it. Soon Lesha transferred to a private school.
“I heard about him a year later from a colleague.
Drunk, he stole a car to “ride” with his friends. They said they would return it in the morning. In general, when the police caught them, Lesha did the unthinkable: she got out of the car and began to urinate on the police.
As far as I know, he was not imprisoned, he was sentenced to a suspended sentence. But not exactly. Alas, but I think that sooner or later he will definitely see the sky in a cage, ”the teacher shared.
Help for prosperous families is not an incentive for the marginalized
As Yulia Zimova, deputy head of the commission for the protection of demography, families and children of the Civil Chamber of the Russian Federation, explained, all state support measures in Russia today are aimed at the birth of the first and second children. And despite some exceptional circumstances, if the new payment is approved, it is unlikely to encourage the marginalized to have children, but for ordinary parents it will be a good help.
“There are indeed different people and families – they have always been there. It is clear that people are finding ways to cash in on their mothers’ capital, but at the same time there are very few such support measures in any country. Therefore, the proposal is a big step forward,” states the vice president.
According to him, if the family is asocial and there is a threat to the life of the children, then, as a rule, this is already evident in the first and second child. If the family does not attract the attention of state bodies, then in this case it is impossible to stop the parents who constantly give birth.
But large families will be able to spend money on things they really need. As Yulia Zimova said, according to a survey of such families, they want to spend government payments on travel, cars, housing and other things for children.
“Today, not all the measures provided to families with many children are, to say the least, the most extensive. Accordingly, if we examine the experience of individual districts, what large families currently have: discounts in a communal apartment, admission to a kindergarten without queues, payments if the family income is below a certain level. If the Public Chamber’s proposal is accepted, it will increase the confidence of large families in the future – they are our main demographic hope,” says Zimova.
Source: Gazeta
