Olga Silina, a psychologist and author of the “Psychological Boundaries of Personality” course on the Akademika platform, told socialbites.ca how she can be a guide to the world of adults for your child who is entering the transition period.
According to Silina, you need to follow seven rules when communicating with a teenager.
First of all, it is necessary to prepare him for the transition period in advance.
“From the age of 10-11, the child should be told that the next life will not be easy. Tell them what will happen and that it is normal. The parent needs to adapt to this period when the child begins to listen to the opinions of his peers. This needs to be handled with understanding,” Silina said.
In addition, according to the psychologist, it is necessary to respect the child’s personal space, thoughts and feelings.
“The child will develop something of his own and protect it. For example, thoughts, feelings, attitudes, values. They may have disagreements with their parents and this is normal. You should not ask for details of your personal life or go into social networks. “It is important for the child to understand that he or she can contact you if anything happens,” the specialist said.
He also recommended teaching the child to find compromises and negotiate with other family members.
Another rule, according to the psychologist, is to convey to the child the idea that his actions may have consequences.
“Since we live in a legal area, there are things to pay attention to. These need to be explained to the child because he has never encountered such a situation before. A teenager must understand that if he suddenly decides to drop out of school, this will have consequences, first of all, for his parents,” Silina explained.
The psychologist added that the young person should be made to understand that he is not alone.
“It is important to remind a young person that there is an adult on their side, that they love their child and know that this is not easy for them anymore. “It is worth saying that a parent is always ready to support his child and help him get through a difficult period,” he advised.
Another rule, according to Silina, is not to ignore potential conversation topics.
“If a parent comes home in a bad mood and his child asks what happened, you shouldn’t brush him off. You don’t need to use phrases like “don’t interfere, this is adults’ job”, “you won’t understand”, “you’re still young”. “We need to discuss, resolve some situations, set an example for the child,” explained the expert.
Finally, he recommended that parents introduce their teenagers to adult life by, for example, watching their favorite movies together.
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Source: Gazeta
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