Summer is a time of peace. And summer is the time for accidents. Especially with children. In recent years, I have been amazed to watch how the philosophy of child-centeredness has lost ground and replaced the psychology of child-rearing with a kind of harsh spontaneity. And sometimes one thing is intertwined with another in the most incomprehensible way, and then a new terrible psychology is born. And now, yesterday, still afraid to let the child go to school alone, the parents, without arguing with him even the simplest rules, suddenly carelessly let him go to the river with the children in the garden. And in the summer, this metamorphosis manifests itself especially clearly and terribly.
With the onset of June, children, who were not allowed so much, only yesterday that mothers, fathers, grandparents worried literally from scratch, suddenly grow up sharply and go to the wide world with the approval of loved ones. “Well, what,” the adults shrug as if coming to their senses, “we got out of first grade and jumped out of garages and dragged across abandoned construction sites and there’s nothing.” And adults do not understand that their children are different, that they raised them differently a few years before them.
How was it before? Difficult childhood, wooden toys nailed to the floor, adults always at work, always tired and shrugging. Of course, they jumped around the garages. But the newspaper “AIDS-Info” was read from childhood. And there they wrote, for example, about maniacs. Or about HIV terrorists. And we realized that if a muddy guy with a chocolate bar suddenly started to endear ourselves, we knew we had to run. And better to the area. Yes, we knew where to find the area. God, yes, we knew not only where he worked, but where he lived and whose father he was! Of course we knew all the alarm numbers and the location of the payphones, and we memorized friends’ phone numbers and of course addresses, and we knew the names of friends’ parents. Even in theory, many vaguely remembered how and why a tourniquet was applied, and it was not necessary to touch a person with possible fractures. We have always tasted any grass or chewed acorn, but we distinguished pale marsh from all other mushrooms and blueberries from all other berries. Of course, we were fearless to the point of recklessness, but we were not completely naive and helpless.
What is it now? Now elementary school kids may not remember or know their address at all: “We live in a gray house behind a red store.” They don’t know their parents’ phone numbers by heart: “Why memorize it, does the phone remember?” Do not you believe? If I hadn’t experienced it myself, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
Here is one of the latest cases. As an accompanying parent, I went to a show with a group of sophomores. There were 16 people in the group. So that no one would get lost, the coach asked the men to write down his phone number. Almost no one has succeeded. It turns out that although kids are great at downloading games and entertainment apps, they don’t know how to create new contacts on smartphones. They started asking the kids if they knew what to do if they got lost. Call your parents. What if the phone sits? Confusion, confusion. They explained that it is necessary to contact adults (not any of them), give the address or phone number of the parents. And here’s the ambush. Of the 16 people, 5 knew the address, only 3 knew the number. At the same time, several people’s phones were almost empty.
Why are parents of modern children so careless with all their worries? No one is surprised that our kids don’t go to school on their own until at least the fifth grade, that every third of them have a parent-controlled smartwatch, that a grandmother even brings a hot lunch. to the seventh grader on the tray. And in our world, children are drowning in a pool, surrounded by so many people, children are kidnapped from noisy streets in broad daylight, children are lost while picnicking in the park. How is all this possible?
I think this is because many people believe too much in the safe environment of the modern urban space. This illusion is supported by a variety of services, a large number of video cameras, information stands, awareness psychology and responsibility of the surrounding adults. We suddenly decided that the world was too kind. And they don’t need to scare the kids. No more trauma. In the end, security is much more exciting and more fun, by the way, Arkady Paravozov will tell from TV, well, the manager will remind you on the line before the holiday. And in general, there was the issue of the world around us, there was something about security, for sure. And also about mushrooms – after all, they sat down to classes together. And now who’s mouthing something you can’t force today’s spoiled kids to try broccoli? So why are you making a fuss?
But the thing is, the world remained as it was. Video cameras cannot stop a psychopath, they can only record a crime scene. Information stands are useless if the habit of using them is not formed. Of course, smart watches discharge, break down and disappear, just like mobile phones. No one listens to the director on the lines. And as soon as the textbook, the damned “Atlas-Identifier”, and a thick workbook are closed, homework around the world is forgotten like a nightmare.
Adults in crowded environments are also extremely irresponsible. According to the paradox we know as the bystander effect or Genovese syndrome. The essence of this paradox is the possibility of one of the strangers helping a person in trouble – yes, yes, and a child too! – the less it is, the more people will be around. Everyone believes that it is someone else who should help the victim, not him. Everyone thinks we live in a “civilized world” and anyone in less haste will surely intervene. Unfortunately, this is just psychology and we are developing extremely slowly. Ah yes, and Genovese, who is he anyway? And this is an American who was killed in front of a dozen witnesses, none of which interfered with what was happening.
And you know, it would be nice to tell the kids that this happened. Yes, scary stories. Yes, to remember scary stories from life, from your own childhood. Yes, morally. That is, with safety rules derived from stories. Telling that they drowned without screaming, playing with fire for the sake of a funny video is folly. To say that they are sociopathic people and no, outwardly they do not differ from others, they do not have tails and hooves. Explaining that swimming during a storm is impossible only in cartoons where everything happens. Remind them that Superman is a fictional character and therefore you need to think about safety yourself.
A good place to start is to have the kids finally find out their addresses and their parents’ phone numbers, followed by the addresses and numbers of other immediate family members. No, not like “Our Father”. Who knows them today, these prayers? And who will they help? And how… how… I don’t know, like the Brawl Stars update date, like Lady Bug’s song, like Tima Belorussky’s hits. The less our Children’s Universe will resemble the world of pink ponies and lilac unicorns, the less they will risk getting lost in it, poisoned, drowning – in a word, a complete abyss.
The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the editors’ position.