Evgenia Fomina Should parents buy an apartment for their children 07/08/2024, 08:09

The housing problem has spoiled us for quite some time now, but I want to believe that it will not last forever.

A dispute broke out on social networks. The girl complains that her parents do not want to give her grandmother’s apartment, planning to sell it and build a summer house. The girl, as they say, is on fire, and her readers staged a real Internet war on a burning topic: should parents provide housing for their heirs?

The real estate issue is a long-standing problem for me, I will not hide it. I am a Muscovite, but as they say, it is not very realistic: my grandparents came to the capital in the 1950s, first lived in a hostel, then bought an apartment. Let’s start the countdown from this point, which is probably out of reach for the hero of the dispute on social networks.

Previously, it was customary to have children at a fairly young age. And it often happened that even teenagers became grandparents. Let me give my own example again: I am 34 years old, my mother is 56, my grandmother is 85, by the way, I also have a daughter, and she is 12 years old. If we expect that each generation will inherit the proverbial “grandmother’s apartment”, then grandmother is no longer worth living in. Absolutely inhumane logic, right?

Moreover, if the generation changes every 20-25 years, the parents have to move somewhere from the inherited apartment. To please the children, because they have to move!

I believe that such demands from young people are the most childish attitude. Of course, it is good that your parents support you, including financially. But let’s be fair: if your parents gave you an education, a springboard for the future, then it is not entirely fair to demand from them a material cushion in the form of housing.

But we discussed this issue with a colleague, and it turned out that he completely disagreed with me. In his opinion, parents should make sure that their children start from a higher platform than before. In every sense, including material. Did you have a room in a shared apartment and 10 years of high school? Let the children graduate from at least a university (formerly vocational school) and get a one-room apartment from the family. Do you have a studio in your new home for graduation? Prepare at least a two-room apartment in a good area for your child. Yes, and university education is in the top ten universities!

It sounds good because we all hope that our children will be better than we were. And that doesn’t mean that we live in luxury, as the heirs mostly start eating in their early years: it’s not that hard to get past our beginnings. So should we sacrifice something for the sake of our adult children? Is it the same summer dream as the mother of the author of this social media dispute?

It’s good when we have the power to fulfill all our desires: to build a summer house, to give real estate to children, and also to roll like cheese in butter and not think about how much money is left before payday, because there is always enough of it. But what if not? And if such a choice arises – to fulfill your dream or to cover your over-aged child with roses? What should I do?

I am for making your dream come true. Yes, the damned summer house is not an investment, but a waste of money, unlike real estate in almost all major Russian cities. Yes, an offended child, no matter how old he is, is still a challenge (young parents will understand if they imagine a tantrum in the toy department). Yes, feeling guilty about it is not a gift either, especially if the child is so thoughtless that he will blame his mother in the face and take the problem to the Internet.

But if a child is old enough to start a significant discussion on social network X, then his parent is old enough. And the parent is clearly a person who has earned himself a reward – both for parenting, and simply for not drinking himself to death in our difficult life, not going crazy and still wanting a summer house, and not the next world. Let her buy it. My daughter has her whole life ahead of her, let her work, take out a mortgage, buy a bed with credit, and renovate it herself.

I think the last thing you can do is demand from your parents what they are not prepared to give you. These are the people who gave us life, who love us as much as they can, and who try to do us good, even the parents who are bad at it. That’s how they see it.

In the end, maybe this is an educational measure: Buy yourself something and find out what adult life is all about! Hard? Yes. But someone has to explain it to the young ones.

The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the editors’ position.

What are you thinking?

Source: Gazeta


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