A long time ago, when my children wanted to insult each other, they would tell each other that they had no honor. It seemed funny to me that a few tadpoles were berating themselves like this, criticizing the absence of one of the most valuable qualities to the human concept. Generation X’s were more ordinary and we insulted each other by calling each other more slum names. It is clear that our children are taller, more beautiful and more developed than we are. They are developing us. So be it.
I see an image of an African village where some children greet elders by bringing their heads closer as a sign of respect. They want the adult to put his hand in their hair. One of them says that as adults get older in their society, they deserve more respect. Because he accumulates more experience and is smarter. Approaching adults in this way gives them dignity and importance. Dignity has a lot to do with the way we view and treat others.
I spent too many hours in the nursing home. I never got used to professionals not closing the door when it was time to change diapers or when they sat residents on the toilet. I never understood why they infantilized them by making them smaller, decorating them at the carnival, or wearing Santa hats at Christmas. The sight of someone in a red-scaly hat, his gaze and mind somewhere far away, seemed depressing to me, almost bordering on humiliation. During a spinning class, the instructor jokes with a girl who pedals like there’s no tomorrow. “Tell your boyfriend to buy you shoes that fit so you can run more.”, He tells. And everyone laughs. Girl too. While I’m sweating, I remember the conversation I overheard in the locker room between two girls in their twenties. One complained that her breasts weren’t big enough, while the other suggested her boyfriend pay for new breasts. “Well, yes. In short, he is the one who will benefit from these,” she replied. And they both laughed. Something is creaking in this behavior and I don’t really know what it is. Maybe lack of pride. Or lack of decision-making for oneself. Making decisions in the first person gives respect.
Cocktail in a hotel lounge. There are panels with pictures of families and children wearing colorful school uniforms. Salmon, green, burgundy. There are photo booth expressions. Wide eyes and disturbing expression. They live in a remote village in a Central African country and are unaware of what is happening in the lounge of the Western hotel. An association is trying to raise funds for the schooling of minors. They auction off a painting containing a still life and a vase and hold a raffle. When someone gives a few euros, the organization representative makes the sign of the cross next to the lucky child. “Menganito can now study until the age of 13”, announces into the microphone. The overexposure to vulnerability or the belief that giving alms will improve the future of these children is disturbing. Almost disrespectful.
There are gestures that honor, others highlight shortcomings. Distinguishing which is which is easier than it seems. Just put yourself in the shoes of someone suffering from this condition. And empathy emerges, and with that comes respect for dignity.