I’m looking for Vovka. He returned to Russia. He came, he says, fell to the ground and kissed the pavement of the Kremlin pavement, kissed it, he says. Realized. This is of course ironic. It’s always ironic. But the truth is, he’s back. It didn’t work. Here, with 25-degree weather in January, in the blessed center of the country, in a city always kind and cheerful, where mentally healthy people were walking on the street and singing, Vovka did not find strength. glide through the taverns and go to the sea. He sat on a bench like an old man, lay facedown on the pillow like a dead man. Depression. The irony refused.
Why depression? Because Moscow’s social strategies do not work here.
What is it like to be Israeli?
Coming to the country is not enough. You have to go inside.
There was a kind of parable about a so-called Buddhist monk flying from the city of Lasa to, say, New York, descending the stairs and sitting on the asphalt.
He sat with his eyes closed, not moving. In deep meditation we think stereotypes. But the monk did not meditate. Waited.
Neighbors on the plane hurried past each other on their toes. People who spend more than an hour on the plane are particularly fussy. The neurotic senseless jumping out of their seats and tearing their hand luggage off the shelves while taxiing is in no way rationally explained.
And yet a fun sport is running to passport control with suitcases.
What are you doing here, monk, sitting on the pavement? Why don’t you tear your hand luggage, smash your neighbor’s leg, kick your neighbor and run to passport control?
“I am waiting for my soul,” the monk said forcefully.
He was physically in a new place. The soul cannot move at this speed. That’s why you have to wait until contact is made with the place.
That’s what the analogy is about – about everything at once, not just (and most importantly) about migration. But also about immigration.
There are immigrants, there are displaced people, there are returnees. Please do not mix under any circumstances.
1. As Bender said, long ago, before the age of historical materialism, there were immigrants. They loved their homeland. They were gone forever. The fugitives of the last century have forever lost that part of their identity that requires staying and the existence of a homeland. For them it was a disaster, the destruction of their Temple.
2. The movers came to deter. They dislike neither the old nor the new homeland, they want to live where they are comfortable, it is absurd to frighten them with this old-fashioned word “homeland”. It’s silly to poke them with a stick of that word. In the globalist age, it howls like a dinosaur, confusing the enlightened world with its barbaric roar.
3. The repatriated are returning to their historic homeland. “Who is a Jew? Someone who can pack quickly.”
What is it like to be Israeli?
What does it mean to be a Moscow?
Why do not Muscovites in Israel “enter”?
– Are you from Moscow?
– How do you know?
“And your face is so ugly.”
So you have exactly the same face.
– I know. I am also from Moscow.
Joke.
On one side.
On the other hand, pure truth.
Israelis have a relaxed face. He’s not mad. full of joy. They sing in the streets.
If a Muscovite were beheaded, he would improve for another 20 minutes.
Vovka once came to Nerezinovsk from a deep province and achieved everything himself. He values this attainment energy above all else. This energy of attainment has become his second nature. He is a “success”. Like the vast majority of people living in the capital of our country.
Not possible here.
I know why you’re depressed, Vovka. You should change your sport. The social sport that you masterfully mastered in Moscow is unknown here. The “Successors” remained in Moscow. Sitting on the asphalt wait for a soul
If an official told you that the transaction was done, the next official will never know about it. If you reach your target with a referee, the target will melt in your hand like a jellyfish.
How do Israelis live with it? Great. They sing in the streets. Measure humility and joy.
Are you depressed? But I don’t. I’ve already mastered the science of relaxation. I can relax in a clerk’s office like famous artists sleep in between shots. Drink some more.
You found Blat and agreed with everyone. He accomplished everything with the blues. And it turned out that nothing happened. Your benefactor deceived you, did nothing for you. “The thief. He has blood on his hands.” This, of course, is Vovka with irony. It’s always ironic.
Irony is something attractive and mysterious. Freud believed that humor was the diversion of the unconscious into the conscious. Irony, on the contrary, is the head example of the superego. very different processes. I don’t like humor. I love the irony.
For example, there is the irony of Alexander Prokhanov, the man I wrote my best column about. I don’t remember why I wrote it. I can’t explain now. In a column dedicated to the genius of Prokhanov it can be an informative reason and can be used for a Jewish source. Is Prokhanov sarcastic or serious? is it stupid? what is the type?
Does he speak with irony when he reports that “Liya Akhedzhakova has blood on her elbows”? I remember this unexpected sight making me suddenly burst into laughter behind the wheel. It exploded right in front of the traffic police.
Akhedzhakova is not a righteous man. A role in the fate of Leah Akhedzhakova became fatal and decisive. This is a role in the movie “Garage”. Her hero was the only one there. Not firing. Those who do not fight for themselves. That’s what happens with good artists. They can get so used to their roles that they actually die. They can get so used to the role that they seriously change their destiny.
In the movie “Garage” he was called a gnome.
Imagine this little truth-loving body with blood on its hands up to the elbows (a carnival expression), and imagine Prokhanov himself, whose body has long ceased to obey not only himself, but also the laws of physics, and has already grown in these directions. where the human body, subject to gravity, cannot grow. Physicality is very important here. Therefore, it is necessary to imagine this particular Rabelaisian writer and this object of his attacks, to relate them between them – and evaluate the quality of high irony.
Vovka also constantly says: “You have blood on your hands, thief.” Did you steal from Prokhanov? He says this for everyone. I’m sure it’s about me too.
He lost his irony in Israel. How? Israelis almost always speak with irony. You almost never know if they’re joking or serious.
But Moscow irony is not kidding here.
Weekend pandemonium in some spas (mineral water, muddy pools, baths, baths). Naked people stand close to each other in the bath. Beautiful picture of hell. I am an extreme individualist, I especially like this kind of entertainment … Perhaps Israelis are collectivists: kibbutzim, mutual aid, a sense of comradeship – in every sense, naked bodies next to each other in the bathroom …
In Russia, as in any post-Soviet country, contrary to the stereotypes and propaganda of different eras of the ideas of sobornost and collectivism, people live atomically and prefer individual survival strategies. And join (never join) extremely reluctantly.
Some kid jokes non stop in the bath. 14 years old. This is the first time I see a professional comedian nugget at this age. Fat, chubby, funny. He was born here. He is completely fluent in Russian, Hebrew and English.
– Come here for a second.
“Oh my God, a woman is pulling me out of the bathroom,” the fourteen-year-old said with a professional grimace.
Phone recorded. I won’t tell anyone.
Stand-up culture is very developed here. The guy jokes about the traffic jam in Tel Aviv and uses, among other things, this cute borrowing from the Russian “leh kibenimat”, where leh is “go” or, in this case, “roll”. The Russian language enriched Hebrew with various linguistic phenomena: a mess, a nonsense (they came to Russian from Turkic languages), among which the “leh kibenimat” proudly displays.
I love change. I don’t know nostalgia. Let it get worse – not just like yesterday. Here is my motto. Perhaps nostalgia has its roots in a happy childhood. Am I deprived of this happy childhood?
I feel good here. I like the way Israelis joke. I’ll be drinking on the streets soon.
The author expresses his personal opinion, which may not coincide with the editors’ position.
Source: Gazeta
Dolores Johnson is a voice of reason at “Social Bites”. As an opinion writer, she provides her readers with insightful commentary on the most pressing issues of the day. With her well-informed perspectives and clear writing style, Dolores helps readers navigate the complex world of news and politics, providing a balanced and thoughtful view on the most important topics of the moment.