I pass people who think they are walking fast in the park but are walking anxiously. Anxiety and rush are not the same thing, although they look alike. I know this because most of the time I also walk anxiously, believing that I am walking fast. I really don’t know what “doing cardio” means, other than that you have to strain your heart a little bit. To do this, you need to move quickly, increase your heart rate, sweat. I come home sweaty, I don’t know if it’s from the effort or the agony. We live in a confusing time where the border between activity and hyperactivity has been erased.
I’m in the park right now, walking nervously even though everyone says I’m walking fast. A neighbor who is leaving at the same time catches up with me and asks if we can go together. I tell him yes of course what to say and he takes my pace which is too fast. My idea is for him to give up and leave me with suicidal thoughts but the man is tough. You can see that she’s worried too, I notice her breathing and moving her legs erratically. We went in silence at first, but then he hesitated to speak. He says he has an anxiety that doesn’t let him sleep.
“Don’t sleep,” I tell him.
– As you said?
I say it’s easier not to sleep than to get rid of a worry, and I always choose the easiest. What is difficult cannot be fixed.
The man did not expect this answer. Neither do I. My answers are not always mine. It belongs to a classmate who is very hot. He died on an exercise bike at his neighborhood gym last year. He got rid of his nerves by pedaling like crazy. There are many things that look like mine but belong to others. I am like a receiver of sentences floating in space and mysteriously penetrating me. My neighbor took it. My suffering is much greater than yours. In addition to being physically prepared to compete in the Olympic Games, you are likely to have high levels of anxiety. Sport is good because it softens it.