Pharaohs and naked women
In European culture, a false image of Ancient Egypt developed: millions of slaves driven to build pyramids with the whip, a strict class hierarchy, and a tyrant-pharaoh for whose sake his gloomy silent subjects were ready to make any sacrifice. In fact, the estates were not yet developed at that time, it was much safer to joke about the pharaoh than to joke about many modern rulers. Egyptians loved humor and jokes, including about themselves and serious topics. Many came to us in the form of drawings – comics, as they are now called.
In other words, the queen of the East African country Punta is depicted on the wall of the Hatshepsut temple in Deir el-Bahri. The woman looks very fat and plump and has a small, skinny ass behind her. The title is:
The donkey to carry the queen.
Animals often became heroes of Egyptian humorous stories, performing functions unusual for them. So, a lion and an antelope can play board games, and a cat can herd geese.
Far fewer jokes have survived in text form. For example, there is “The Tale of Setne Khamvas and Si-Osir” about the daughter of the pharaoh whose father wanted to marry him off as the son of a general.
Didn’t you come to me with stupid words about wanting to live with my brother Naneferkaptah? asked the pharaoh.
– Let me live with a general’s son, and he will live with another general’s daughter. Let our family grow! answered her daughter.
Another example is one Egyptian mocking another.
You’re like a blind wife whose husband stayed with her for 20 years but eventually left her for another woman. When the husband met with his elderly wife, he told her that they had separated because of the blindness in one eye. To which the wife replied: and that is all you have noticed in 20 years of marriage?
Some Egyptian jokes are similar in form to modern jokes, but due to the loss of context they are difficult to understand even for experts of the period.
How to entertain a bored pharaoh? Just go down the Nile with him in a boat full of young women dressed in fishing nets and invite Pharaoh to go fishing.
According to Egyptologists, this is not just sexual overtones. Most likely, swimming and fishing in the Nile has some kind of symbolic meaning that contradicts naked girls.
first real joke
In the 19th century, archaeologists discovered an ancient Sumerian text written about 4,000 years ago.
A dog walks into a bar and says, “You can’t see anything. Let me open it.”
This is the oldest anecdote about the bar and its format has remained unchanged to this day. The problem is that this joke is not understood by anyone, not even Sumerologists.
According to one version, the dog forgot to open the front door and the story goes, “The dog came to the bar and saw nothing inside. Then he asks: maybe you will finally open the door? According to other scientists, the meaning of the joke is completely different. The word éš-dam can mean not only a bar, tavern, or tavern, but also a brothel. In this case, the dog wanted to see what the girls and their clients were doing behind closed doors or curtains. Finally, according to the third version, the joke was entirely based either on references to a well-known event or on an untranslatable pun that could only be understood in spoken speech.
However, another Sumerian anecdote is considered the oldest.
There is something that has not happened since time immemorial: a young girl does not fart on her husband’s knees.
Here again, the opinions of scientists differ: some believe that the “girl” will never admit this, others believe that this happens regularly, and the anecdote itself is mockery and rejection of the obvious.
Anecdotes from the wall of a Roman toilet
The Roman era left many written monuments and the Romans look more like us than the ancient Egyptians or Sumerians. Many examples of Roman humor that remained on the walls of the toilets at Pompeii have been preserved in ancient books, and some seem to have survived in modified form.
When a provincial resident came to Rome, and everyone on the street paid attention to him. It looked like an exact copy of Emperor Augustus. The emperor, learning this, called the man to the palace, looked at him and asked:
“Tell me, young man, has your mother ever been to Rome?”
– Not him. But my father used to come often.
There is a modern English joke with a similar motive, in which the emperor is replaced by an aristocrat.
Another anecdote is dedicated to fortune-tellers and seers, who are rarely believed by educated people.
Before the Olympics, a runner dreamed that he was riding four horses. Before the race, he turned to the dream interpreter and asked what it meant. The translator answered him:
– You will win, you will have the speed and power of the horses!
But the athlete wanted to make sure that it was true that the dream meant exactly this. Then he turned to another interpreter and replied:
– You will lose. Isn’t it obvious that there are already four people in front of you?
In general, Roman anecdotes are often understood without comment:
A man bought a slave, the slave died the next day. The buyer went to complain to the seller, to which he calmly replied: “When I had it, it was alive.”
Or like this:
On the way two people met and one said to the other:
Funny, they told me you died.
Well, as you can see, I’m still alive.
“I don’t know, the person who told me you died is much more reliable than you.
But still the life and morals of the Romans were different from the modern ones. Another anecdote describes a dialogue between two friends:
– Bring me two 15-year-old boys from the trip.
– OK. I will not find two 15-year-olds – I will bring a 30-year-old.
To understand this joke, friends must be replaced by students who want to throw a party. In this case, instead of two 20-year-old girls, another 40-year-old girl was promised. According to another version, this anecdote is purely mathematical and gives an example of an absurd collection without erotic overtones.