Flirting is behavior designed to make initial contact with a potential partner or push them into more romantic or sexual contact. At the same time, certain actions and the partner’s attitude towards them can be determined by gender, age, culture and other factors. It took a team of psychologists from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology and their American colleagues to find out what kind of behavior men and women expect from potential partners. They reported the results in a journal article. evolutionary psychology.
“Flirting involves various signals that people send to each other. This is done to attract potential partners. Both men and women flirt to get the attention of a desired partner and possibly get them into a sexual or romantic relationship. Which dating techniques are effective depends on your gender and whether you’re looking for a short-term or long-term relationship,” says Professor Leif Edward Ottesen Kennaire, lead author of the study.
Dating tactics can be divided into verbal (declarations of love, intimate conversations) and nonverbal (facial expressions, attention signs such as gifts, dressing style, dancing, etc.). Some tactics, such as a declaration of love, indicate that you are ready to commit, while others, such as showing your body, signal sexual readiness.
Researchers invited 1,000 young volunteers, some Norwegian and some American. Participants were asked to rate how impressed they were with the 40 suggested flirtations, how attractive they looked based on the potential partner’s gender, and how well they helped short-term and long-term relationships. . The list included hugs and other types of physical contact, time spent with a potential partner, a sense of humor and other aspects.
Scientists hypothesized that a potential partner’s compliance with culturally accepted standards of beauty would be an important factor. But, as it turned out, this practically does not play a role – it turns out that the most important element of flirting is a sense of humor.
Women preferred cheerful and generous men. For men, it was important for women to show their sexuality and laugh at their jokes – for one night stands, the penchant for jokes was not so important.
“Humor, or the ability to make someone else laugh, has proven to be most effective for men looking for a long-term relationship. It’s least effective for women looking for a one night stand. But laughing at the other person’s jokes is an effective dating tactic for both genders,” says Kennaire.
For women looking for short-term relationships, researchers recommend, first of all, to show their readiness for sex and open the body – such signals are most effective in this case. However, those seeking a longer romance should show men their generosity, nobility, and willingness to make commitments. The same advice applies to men who are confident in long-term relationships: the willingness to invest in relationships and take responsibility for them is attractive to both sexes. Only men who want to seduce a woman should compliment her, smile and continue the conversation.
Men, in general, were more prone to contact types such as hugs, friendly kisses, and tickling. Women, on the other hand, aren’t too happy if a man turns to physical interaction when they see him as a long-term partner, but if they’re looking for a short-term relationship, they’re not against it.
Conversations about personal matters turned out to be more important for women, most important in the context of long-term relationship planning.
In any case, it’s recommended to start with a smile and eye contact – and if the partner shows ready to flirt in response, engage more closely.
The attitude to the manifestations of dating between the Norwegians and the Americans practically did not differ – apparently, the described techniques are universally acceptable, at least for Western culture.
“In two samples from different cultures that differ in both religious views and the level of sexual freedom, we found support for well-known sexual strategy theories about the most divergent groups of tactics,” the study’s authors wrote. “These cross-cultural results confirm that flirting is universal, as the most effective actions are the same for the Norwegian and American examples. Dating tactics that indicate sexual fitness are considered the most effective tactics for women in the context of short-term relationships. Flirting tactics that indicate generosity and commitment, It is considered most effective when used by men and for both sexes in the context of long-term relationships.”
However, the results obtained should not yet be extended to representatives of other orientations and residents of countries whose cultures differ from Norway and America – although in these cases the results are likely to be similar so to speak.