Even if the boss behaves in this way, it is quite possible to stop the manipulation and aggression of a toxic colleague. Establishing personal boundaries, keeping distance and reflecting on toxicity will help with this, Ivan Chirkov, an expert in working with a team and brand director at Nelogy, told socialbites.ca.
To her, toxic coworkers are a big problem as they neglect other people’s feelings, take responsibility for consequences, and cause conflict, which negatively affects other employees and the atmosphere within the team.
“The main reason for the high level of toxicity is that the toxic person’s colleagues are afraid to extinguish such an attitude towards them, so the effectiveness of the person who shows aggression will only increase. So, if there are several such situations, do not be afraid to proactively solve the problem by talking about it. The main thing is to do it privately, not in a public chat or office space, ”advised Ivan Chirkov.
He stated that in order to soften the conflict with a toxic colleague and maintain a working relationship, it is first necessary to set personal boundaries.
“Setting boundaries is a fundamental step in dealing with a toxic colleague and will help reduce the impact their behavior has on your work, mood, and overall mental health. The most effective way to do this is to honestly admit that you are uncomfortable: often this is enough to create an emotional barrier.” said the team expert.
If this measure does not help, it is worth resorting to the distance. The truth is that toxic people are selfish and manipulative by nature – they are addicted to their attention. Therefore, this method allows you to restore relations with a toxic colleague.
“You can distance yourself both mentally and physically. In the first case, you need to focus on your values and resist the urge to engage in negative behavior. It is important to be neutral and not get emotional. Physical distancing includes moving to another department, reducing the number of contacts during the workday, attracting managers or colleagues to personal meetings, or developing an alternative work schedule,” said the expert.
As a last resort in dealing with toxic people, the expert also suggests being “toxic” in return.
“Such a negative adaptation of the mirror effect allows the person to see their behavior from the outside and better understand when they are misbehaving towards others, especially when you copy negative habits. At the same time, it’s important to remember that you’re just “playing toxic” and you’re not,” Chirkov concluded.
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