The reason people hurt and hurt the feelings of their closest ones is because they have poor control over their emotions. And often this is because a person restricts their emotions at other times. This is the author of the Ecological Psychologist Zen channel, Dr. It was told to socialbites.ca by Stanislav Sambursky, a clinical psychologist at Anikina’s Clinic.
According to the expert, the basic rule that should not be forgotten is that anger cannot be prohibited.
“Negative emotions are a strong focus that can be compared to an engine. For example, they can be used to get out of a toxic relationship or assert personal boundaries when the other person is extremely rude. But anger becomes a problem when it gets out of control. And the reason people hurt the feelings of those closest to them is precisely because of poor control of emotions. And here the second rule arises: if you do not know how to get angry in an environmentally friendly way, do not get angry and do not part to avoid conflict, ”said the psychologist.
He stated that in order to overcome the inability to get angry, you need to examine your own emotions, identify what factor provoked it in a particular situation, and try to eliminate it.
“The most common reason for not being angry is the constant suppression of emotions. In this case, anger and irritation accumulate. Imagine a small scale from 1 to 10. The highest score is the peak when anger is overwhelmed and emotions cause you to destroy everything around you. It is possible to interact with other people if the anger level is not higher than 2. For people who keep everything in themselves, the value on the scale reaches 7 or 8. Then comes the critical moment. It is impossible to take control in such a situation, ”explained Stanislav Sambursky.
According to him, anger and irritability do not occur suddenly. If you cannot cope with such feelings on your own, you can talk about self-control issues that should be referred to a professional. Often, such behaviors also have prerequisites such as depression, anxiety disorder, and other mental problems.
“One may scold oneself for taking out one’s grudge against one’s loved ones, but he is a victim who must be rescued. First you need to determine whether there are mental disorders, if so, you should resolve them with a specialist. To one person it seems that the situation is under control, but there are no obvious signs of trouble. But mental disorders don’t always have obvious symptoms, and a person may not be aware of their presence at all, given that their behavior is considered normal. One way or another, if you can’t solve the anger problem on your own, the best solution is to get help,” the expert concluded.
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