To prevent a child from becoming friends with bad friends, first of all, parents need to increase their self-confidence and in no case criticize them. It is equally important not to forbid the child from being friends with “bad guys”, but to help him understand that he does not need such friends. This is the author of the Ecological Psychologist Zen channel, Dr. It was told to socialbites.ca by Stanislav Sambursky, a clinical psychologist at Anikina’s Clinic.
According to the expert, during adolescence, children defend their freedom and independence, so the authority of the parents decreases and understanding can only be found among their peers. In order to prevent representatives of a bad company from becoming such peers, it is important for parents to increase the child’s self-esteem, then he will not follow their lead.
“Learn to hear your child, not just listen. Listen to his opinion, ask for advice. Communicate with a teenager, taking into account his emotional state. If the child is depressed and does not want to, do not insist on talking and do not hesitate to praise him for his success, but do it calmly, ”advised the psychologist.
It is also important to show by your actions and actions that the parents will not stop loving the child, even because of bad behavior and some mistakes. Confidence is no less important: it is not necessary to control every step of a teenager, but it is better for him to solve problems that he can solve on his own.
“Don’t criticize a teenager, it hurts his pride a lot. Respect their interests and hobbies. Naturally, within reasonable limits. And remember the main thing: the meaning of education is to teach the child independence. And parental support is more important to a teenager than any restrictions,” explained Stanislav Sambursky.
He noted that most often, young people who do not receive serious attention in the family get into bad companies; Children who are offended by their parents or do not know how to defend their opinions.
“If a child has already fallen into a bad friendship, parents should not forbid him to communicate with his friends, so that he does not get further away. It is better to ask him a few questions that will help him understand that such a friendship does more harm than good. In other words, you can ask if your friend violates the boundaries of others, if your child forces you to do something that he or she doesn’t like, if he is rude when criticized, or if he uses threats when people don’t. says. Then use examples from life or movie plots to illustrate how much some people can manipulate others. This will help push the teenager to his own thoughts without quarrels and reproaches,” the expert advised.
According to Sambursky, you should choose a quiet place and time for a conversation and not ask in a directive, but carefully rephrase the questions under what is known about a particular child’s company. This conversation will help change the teenager’s perception of his “friends” and, in some cases, find new ones.
“Try to spend the weekend that the child usually spends with friends, with the whole family. Knowing the interests of the child, you can easily offer him an interesting pastime. If parents understand that the gap between them and the child is too great, it is better to seek help from a psychologist. First of all, a specialist will help to establish the right course of behavior with a teenager, ”the psychologist concluded.
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