If parents constantly force older children to babysit younger children, this can ruin an older child’s childhood and cause negative feelings for the younger brother or sister as well as their own uselessness. This is Dr. Stanislav Sambursky, a clinical psychologist at Anikina’s Clinic and author of the Ecological Psychologist Zen channel, told socialbites.ca.
According to the expert, it is considered acceptable for older children to play with their parents while taking care of the younger ones, or for the mother or father to be away for a while.
“You have to understand that we are talking about five to ten minutes here. Children should not be left alone for long periods of time. Such a decision could prove disastrous if the difference between them is less than 12 years. For example, children may knock heavy objects on themselves, fall out of a window, eat a needle or swallow a button, etc. How can a child no older than the youngest keep him out of a dangerous situation? On the contrary, he may like the idea and it will help the brother quickly climb onto the window sill, ”the clinical psychologist warned.
The second dangerous point is the lack of first aid skills in children. So, for example, if the little one is overwhelmed by something, the older one is confused and scared, he may not call his parents because they will start scolding him for what happened. The situation may worsen if the elderly person tries to help himself by pushing the foreign body deeper into the airways.
“You have to judiciously assess the potential of the elderly and understand that they are still children without critical thinking. Another thing is that the age difference between one child and the other is more than 12 years old. You can then ask an older child to take care of the younger one. But do not force it, ask if he can cope by providing a suitable reward for his work, ”explained Stanislav Sambursky.
According to him, justice is important in this regard. Young people have busy lives, and the imposition of younger people can arouse hostility and even hatred towards them.
“Make up for wasted time with the big boy. For example, let’s give more pocket money, buy something you like, or go to some kind of entertainment facility together. There are many options for remuneration, the main thing is that the payment “does not go against the preferences of the child,” said the specialist.
He noted that it is unacceptable to punish adults for bad behavior of minors.
“Even if men suffer psychologically, if they can handle all this pressure more easily, girls may have internal barriers ahead. Many women who are already adults, who were forced to nanny to younger children in childhood, refuse to have children of their own because they understand that this is a huge job that challenges them from an early age. Remember that in order for a child to grow up as a mentally healthy person, he must have a full-fledged childhood, ”said psychologist Sambursky.
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