He enters the Café Gijón, Madrid’s most literary work, dressed in black. Lydia Cacho is sitting at the table, journalist, Mexican writer who has fought for women’s freedom since childhood and has fought for her own freedom for years since powerful Mexican bandits persecuted her to the death. to take away the egalitarian flag he displayed in reports and books. And now he is an exile in Spain, where after the Civil War many exiles sent to Mexico. This portrait of persecution did not overshadow the face of a 59-year-old girl who had been compiling correspondence and other documents since she was twelve years old in a unique book called Cartas de amor y iseydia (Discussion). Young at the age shared with parents, friends, lovers, partners. Many of these letters are handwritten, and they all have roots in the persecution that is now hidden in Madrid, as well as the subject of love, sadness, or struggle. The New York Times said of him: “He’s the rock star of Mexican journalism.” When he sat down to answer, that girl is Lydia Cacho.
P. What scared you more than what has been described here?
A. Show love to my family. Because I’m always afraid for my family.
P. In the first document you say that your cousin attacked you in bed, you are twelve years old… And then there was always someone who wanted to attack your freedom.
R. The problem is not just mine. According to the UN, every 15 seconds a woman is exposed to such things. That means I’m not exceptional, I’m just saying.
P. But did that scene, in particular, make a mark on your life?
A. In the best way because…. His going to bed has nothing to do with how we now evaluate such behavior. I felt it was a betrayal because I considered him my friend in addition to my cousin. We used to play since we were little. It was kind of weird because I had never been around a boy with an erect penis before. And it entered my living space. And it left its mark on my life because when I called my mom she answered, listened to me and believed me. Because most of the children who experience it are not believed by the adults or they minimize it as my cousin’s mother aunt did.
P. In other episodes there were guys trying not to be the person you wanted to be. It was like they were watching him.
A. I don’t know if it was watched or not. What I do know is that this has happened to millions of women. The moment we decide to pursue a career, there are couples who can’t stand it. If I was a man, this wouldn’t have happened to me. But I am a woman. And it still happens to many. But they dare not say.
Q. So why did you dare?
A. There is a story behind it. A few years ago, several Mexican journalists managed to accuse the governor of Quintana Roo, Roberto Borge, of acts of corruption, threats, attempted murder of a journalist… and what he did was try to discredit all the reporters. But it couldn’t be with me. He even invented a biography of me, huh. He made up that I’ve been to Cancun all my youth, doing little braids on the beach, not going to school, being a prostitute, finding guys who wrote my books… pretty dangerous imagination. He named the men he said I had sex with, including several politicians, which wasn’t true. And that was there, and my journalist colleagues didn’t repeat it, because they knew it was just gossip to hurt me. But then I got tired, I knew I had to run because I said they were going to kill me. But I also thought: Will they tell my story? My editor told me to write my autobiography, but I refused, and then I started taking things from my house and I went over them and said: I’m going to write about this kind of journalistic archeology.
Q. It’s a miracle you kept so many things.
A. Sure. There’s also something very cool: When I wrote to my friends, they were wondering if I was sending them a letter. And I kept all the cards. My grandparents also kept letters. And I said to my friends: Listen, if you have letters that I sent you, please give them to me. I asked for their permission. The vast majority said yes. My father hesitated a bit, but eventually agreed.
P. What did all this harassment mean to you?
R. I did not experience it with suffering. It was a nuisance, an inconvenience, and I moved on. Over time you reevaluate things differently and then think about it. I concentrated on my favorite job. My colleagues offended me because they said that I am very feminist and that men are like the PRI, they will never relinquish power. Not all men, but most of them were.
Q. To what extent do your letters reveal Mexico?
R. Well, many who have read the book tell me: You describe my childhood and how we saw many things! So… I think it’s a mirror of many lives. From Mexico and around the world.
Q. What made you so stubborn?
R. I guess I was born that way. Ever since I was little, I had a very stubborn, stupid, obsessive-compulsive personality that I tried to tame but failed. But it has served me well in my job. On the other hand, in my private life, well… no. My father wanted me to do things similar to his, he wanted me to become an engineer and then stay with his company. When I told him what I loved was the Humanities… he didn’t like it. And a very strained relationship began. Not today, I’m talking to him today and we’re laughing a lot.
“When I wrote about domestic violence, a lawyer came into the office with a gun and threatened me. That’s when I realized it was risky to tell the truth.”
Q. When did you start being at risk as a journalist?
A. Physically? When I went to Ciudad Juárez in 1994 to prepare a report on femicide. But maybe when I wrote about domestic violence before, a lawyer came into the office with a gun and threatened me. That’s when I realized that telling the truth is risky. I knew that the events were real, that I was telling the truth, but I also knew that I had to be more careful.
P. Which complaint was more expensive?
R. The decision to tell the story that later became my book, Demons of Heaven. I had a TV show and I invited a lawyer and a psychologist to review the child pornography case, and when I read the script I knew it would be very solid. And yes, the first threats came. I had already received threats when I published the book, but I published it anyway.
P. This is common in journalism in your country: reporting and receiving threats.
A. Yes, journalism is mortally wounded in my country today. From exhaustion, murders of journalists, displacements, exiles. And right now, there is a frontal attack from the Presidency to journalism that discredits all journalists. This puts journalists at greater risk because those who are supposed to protect you are the ones who attack you…. Instead of yelling and criticizing violence in Mexico, all one does is justify it. In literature, music, cinema… So to glorify this also meant glorifying impunity. This makes it very difficult to end the violence.
“I see Spaniards insisting on being European, maybe if they weren’t European they would be almost Latin American and that seems dishonorable to them”
Q. How do you feel in this exile?
R. I am learning to live in Spain. To see their daily lives, to see the weaknesses of this democracy, to see how the Spaniards denied it and did not know what to do with their past. Because there are still people in the ditches and they do not dare to make up for all this. I see them insisting on being European, maybe because if they weren’t European they would be almost Latin American, and that seems dishonorable to them.
Q. And are you afraid?
R. I was discussing this with my therapist yesterday. I believe that fear lives in me, but it no longer bothers me. It’s like I’ve learned to deal with it and move on despite everything.