The Purple Hour by Sergio del Molino (Madrid, 1979, from Zaragoza) is an embrace and a shudder read as if it were ours, emphasizing the pain and understanding that must be felt when nature explodes. and leaves the orphan of your beloved son, with whom you laughed even through the terrible insomnia nights of impotence, whom you cared for with your wife (Cris in this case), and who disappeared like lightning for the two of you. . To interview him for such an autobiographical, such a real book, it is necessary to look into the eyes of the author, as if to confirm that there are no traces of the past in his gaze anymore, that it is present. In the book it seems that we should prefer hugs instead of questions. The author of many other books, some of them as decisive as The Empty Spain, The Skin and Un tal González, he knows how to summarize the autobiography in a way that adopts other proper names, other passages that are already part of his good literature, and – It must be said that he is a journalist of extraordinary heart, for he There aren’t many people like him in this business that he supports as much and loves as much. The journalist read Alfaguara’s 10th anniversary book, like many of his books, underlining almost every page, as if underlining would make it a more permanent and important memory. suitable. This is the messy hair above the eyes, which Sergio del Molino underlines, which seem to be colored with words, curiosity and at the same time joy.
It was as if I was reading the book with you and underlining it.
Books are made of life, they are like underlining life. It is difficult for me to separate literature from life. I learned what I know by living and reading. Paul’s death [su hijo] It was a very painful experience that made me understand the silences that existed in the book Mortal y rosa, which Paco Umbral dedicated to the death of his own son in 1975, and at the same time led us to silences and ellipses. I discovered his pain through my own. This sequence felt like such a definitive catharsis when it came to finding the tone that The Purple Hour was supposed to have.
Did another author or person prepare this book for you, or did events change you?
The facts are beyond doubt. The book is a reflection of the transformation and change that can no longer be the same as before, and how I look at the world from a different perspective. Writing this felt like a natural action on my part, but it was often difficult. In any case, it’s not a painful article. What hurts is the experience, telling it.
Will the pain go away?
No, the pain transforms, takes shape, metabolizes, transforms into itself, but the real pain does not decrease. I believe that such pain will never go away; There may be other pains, but these pains do not go away. The pain of a child’s death never goes away.
How have other people’s books helped you?
Books helped me feel accompanied. I believe it is important to have company in suffering, and it has helped me a lot to feel understood when I see my experience celebrated in others. I think this is the great power that literature has, and some readers have been able to see this in Menekşe Saat… You do not feel comfort, but you feel friendship with books, you feel that you are not disconnected. From the human condition, where you continue to be part of the species, and there are others who express the abstract emotions that transcend you much better than you, and you don’t know what to do with them, and so you feel completely alienated. . Literature, to a large extent, puts you back into the human species, into the flow that pain and trauma took you out of at one point. This is a power that music also has, but in a more primary, more emotional way…
Is the music you work on a lot with Pablo a form of literature?
If I knew how to make music, I wouldn’t write literature. I envy music. If I knew how to make music, I wouldn’t do literature, which is something you do because you can’t make music. That’s why I love incorporating this into my books. But I don’t even know how to sing!
He admits this in his book.
I have a good ear, but I’m not good at interpreting, and I’ve hardly ever strummed a guitar… The power that music has is not found in any art form. While literature requires intellectual mediation, decoding, music requires abstraction, silence, intimacy, as if directly into the bloodstream. But I like my books to resemble music as much as possible and to have a similar effect to music.
In fact, it is impossible to think of The Violet Hour without the music in it.
Yes, there is usually music in all my books; Sometimes it’s complicated because music is a landscape, a reflection of moods, and in literature it always works very similarly to how it does in cinema. I think that Spanish literature in general has a very deaf and insensitive expression towards music. For me, it’s important that books have their own soundtrack, so that the reader leaves the book and starts looking for songs and sounds that are familiar and non-literary, until the book has a more intense presence in their lives. .
How was the next book born after this book?
The following article was quite reserved. Purple hour actually made me a lot less shy. It broke through all the barriers of humility and made me understand the power of autobiographical literature, the power of the self, the power of the first person… If it weren’t for this trauma, if it weren’t for this experience, I would never have felt the need to describe it this way. If I had exposed pain in this way, I would not have discovered the tremendous power of nakedness. This form of immediacy allows you to tell the world with a minimal anecdote. And I wouldn’t have discovered it without this book.
What kind of person has this ongoing event made you?
It is difficult to separate the person and the author. I think it permeates and conditions the gaze; In fact, I sometimes think my political views are filtered through this experience. I think this book and its contents helped me sort my priorities in life and separate the important from the accessories. In other words, the ethics and aesthetics that I manage come from there, and my novels, essays, and columns are shaped according to this situation, even if unconsciously. Empty Spain is included in this experience and is a self-criticism of what I have done before… For example, I was completely unaware of 15M; It happened when Pablo was hospitalized and I was out in the world. When I went out, I saw that politics had changed, suddenly there were people who had nothing to do with politics and suddenly there were people who looked like Lenin. Not being present at that moment of social and political transformation that was so important for Spain is largely indicative of later attitudes. And this is also seen in literature.
When I started reading the book, I decided to underline it. I asked myself how I would do this, according to what criteria, and underlined almost everything. What would be the highlight of The Violet Hour?
The problem is, I can’t answer that because my job is to cross out and cross out and cross out. I can’t underline, I underline. I cannot read this book as if it were someone else. Yes, I was able to underline Threshold, Mortal, and Rose without any pity, because the books you highlighted seem to have been treated very badly. I feel like the more I bash a book, the more I praise the author.
The boy was Pablo. It’s always Pablo. That kid is still there.
Often everything that happens becomes valid because of its meaning, because of what it continues to be. For example, when I write about illness or health, when I write about my own illness, my son appears in thousands of corners. Pablo is a normal presence in my life, in our lives. Sometimes these are the highlights that come to my mind from that time and the writing of this book.
There is a lot of coldness in the book. The bitter cold of the world. There is also fear, the roots of fear were in that cold.
To a large extent yes…
Has writing made you lose your fear?
Fear made me lose my fear. I don’t think I was drowning in fear. It’s a feeling I rarely feel anymore. I am not a coward, and if I were, I think I would not be the writer I am today, nor would I be able to dedicate myself to what I do.
The writing of this book will be different from the writings of those who came before, those who have come, and those who will come. How are you doing as a writer after a book like this?
I suddenly found myself in a serious register, but I never abandoned irony or even sarcasm, so although some readers may find this surprising, The Purple Hour is also full of humor and irony. In this way, the serious tone I subject myself to breaks at some point. I no longer see myself as the frivolous writer I used to be, and I feel like I can no longer be a superficial writer, which I would love. Life and the books I love added a different tone to me and took me to other lands. This was not a decision: it was imposed. I wish I was less serious than I am.
What was the writing process like? Did the events occur simultaneously or later?
I always took notes. It was not a systematic diary, but a diary consisting of notebooks filled out with no intention of providing narrative coherence. Then I sat down. These notes formed the main core of the book. The decisions I make have nothing to do with facts and memories other than the command I give them.
What happened, Paul’s death, the book that came later… Everything will have transformed him into a different person.
Completely. I don’t recognize myself as the person I was before. There are even friends who cannot overcome that obstacle.
There is great sensitivity; You are afraid to be alone with the child, but you try to act like you don’t care. This loneliness must be indescribable. Approach him.
Especially in the beginning, the first weeks are the hardest. I think it’s an experience all parents in my situation share: rising to the occasion, pretending you can handle a situation when you can’t. You don’t know how to fix what seems like a sinking ship. This trick takes most of your energy and also prevents you from crashing because you have to be there because there is no other alternative. You can’t run away, you can’t give authority to anyone… You can’t give yourself the luxury of denying everything, not being around anyone, not making any explanations. You must remain upright: this is imperative and the hardest thing in the beginning.
His wife, Cris, the child’s mother, is there, she is a castle.
It is everywhere, always there… Now the book is fixed, 10 years later it is the book I wrote then, we lived together and it is now ours. Over time, life got better and the text called Purple Hour, which continues to accompany us, was also corrected.